Day Thirty Two - Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

32.  Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful!

This is a tough call for anyone that has trouble getting rid of anything.  I have to admit that I used to be a hoarder.  It's true.  I was obsessed with finding a good deal on things and then buying them and selling them on eBay.  I know what you're thinking.... its good to make a profit.  Well, yes, it is.  I couldn't stop buying though.  I had this great office in the house that I bought shelves for and just filled them up.  Then I got shelves in the garage and filled those up.  I did make some money on a lot of the stuff, but there was so much stuff.

Let's be clear.  If you are going to buy and sell stuff and you are actually selling and making a profit, then this can be a healthy process.  It is the point where your buying becomes personal and you're buying craft stuff for the kids... more craft stuff than you will ever ever ever use....

Enough about me.

All that stuff is unnecessary.  (the stuff that you can't possibly use in your lifetime)  It was something else.  I had problems with my marriage and I wasn't happy.  Somehow buying things filled the void.  Did it fix the marriage problems?  Heck no.  In  fact, it probably added to them.  My point ~  if you are accumulating things for whatever reason, there is a problem.  It's time to dig deep and see what the underlying issue is.  You don't wanna be on the next episode of hoarders, do you?

This can actually pertain to people in your life, as well.  Take a good hard look at your life and those around you.  Do you have excess stuff or people that are wasting your time, space and/or energy.  Get rid of them.  Take an inventory of your home and your life and figure out what you don't need.  Does it bring you joy?  Does it make you happy?  If it doesn't, let it go.  Find a needy family or donate it to  a local thrift store.  You may find joy in getting rid of it and helping someone in need.

Its time to fill your life with joy.  What do you want in your life?  Let's look at that! 

Day Thirty One - Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

31.  Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will.  Stay in touch with them.

I wonder how many times I've said this in my life.  It's not just your friends, its your family and  your kids and your spouse or significant other.  It is so easy to get caught up in the importance of your job.  Don't get me wrong!  Your job is important.  Without it how do you pay your bills?  You don't.  A job is very important, not only in aiding the payment of debts, but also to your mental state.  There is a huge sense of accomplishment and importance involved in having the ability to support yourself.

The key is to find the balance between doing well and being a dedicated employee but also finding the time to be a good husband, father, uncle, brother and friend.  You see how I did that?  Yes, it also pertains to women.  We need to be a good mother, wife, aunt, grandma and friend.  I'm not perfect.  I don't even aspire to be perfect.

I was in a 17 year relationship where I was second to the job, sometimes even third or fourth.  He felt that he was providing for us so that was his part of the deal.  Newsflash!!!  I love that he wanted to support his family, there are lots of men that don't.  But.... (and that's a BIG but) we always wanted him, not the money.  I'm not stupid, we needed the bills paid, but we didn't need the lavish vacations and adventures, we needed him.

He wasn't available to us.  So, we accepted the adventures and wished he was with us.  The sad thing is that when we could convince him to come with us, he was no fun.  He was grumpy and took a half dozen phone calls and you could tell he would just rather be somewhere else.  We stopped asking him to come along so we wouldn't disrupt him.

The sad thing is when you have to sit your kids down and tell them that you are divorcing their Dad and the oldest (of the two that are still at home) isn't surprised.   He was absent, even when he was home, he was absent.  We did everything that we knew how to do to make him happy, but he just wasn't.  

This applies to any relationship.  If you are unable to maintain relationships because of your job, you have a problem.   If you come home from work and wish you had someone to talk to, think about who you used to talk to.  Where are they now?  Why aren't they available to talk with anymore?  It may hurt to realize that you kind of deserted that relationship for your job.

We need human contact.  We need a friend.  We need someone to just sit and listen to us when we need to ramble.  We need someone to laugh at us when we say something really stupid.  Take a look around you right now and who is it that you can talk to, or maybe even just sit with and be?  

If you have people that have drifted away, figure out how to fix it.  Obviously, I'm not talking about abusive friends or people that the relationship wasn't healthy.  I'm talking about the people that loved you for you and stood there waiting for you to turn around and take their hand again.   Those are the people that matter.   There's a good chance they are hoping that you'll come back someday.  Do it today!

 

Day Thirty - Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

30.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Obviously, we prefer the good situations, but in the real world, situations are bad, in fact, some situations just plain suck.  If you're like me, you just let it sit for awhile until you figure out how the heck to get back up out of the mess you're sitting in.  I guess the one thing that I try to remember is that - this is temporary.  Life moves right along and I can choose to sit in this mess, or I can figure out how to get out of it.

•  Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science. Sometimes we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world somewhere along the line. Either way, the sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective.
•  Understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you've experienced pain or disappointment in the past it does not mean that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending.
•  See yourself as a cause, not an effect. You don't have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and it's generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but you'll never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope.
•  Use positive affirmations. Write down short statements that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer monitor, and even taped to your shower wall. 
• Remember that life is short. When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts, and any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer. At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that haven't happened yet and aren't guaranteed to happen, and it prevents you from getting things done. Pessimism breeds indecision. It's a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can't afford to take for granted.
•  Be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.

These tips were provided by: 

How to Be Optimistic,  Edited by Krystle C. and 95 others