Fifty three ~ Misplaced idealism

"She shouldn't have stolen from him, but is so wealthy, and she is so poor, so what's the problem?"

It is important that we don't find a reason to justify something that isn't OK no matter what.  It is good to have compassion, but make sure it is properly placed.  It is better to set up two departments, one as the Judgement section (Justice system) and one as the Social Kindness section.  If a judgement is necessary, then it needs to be handed down.  By all means hand down the judgement, but if you feel compassion, then help them repay that judgement with community service or something of the like.

Think of a situation in your life where you need to be tough because something wrong was done, but you find it hard to be tough because you have pity on the person.  Do you have someone in your life that treats you abusively, but you feel they are justified?  (maybe they were having a bad day)

Be a good judge:

1. "Should this person behave like this?" (regardless of justifications)
2. "What should be done to/for this person to help this not happen again?"
3. "What can I do, or get other's to do to help this person with their problem now and in the future?"

Maybe you need someone else to help you with these questions.   We can be strong, courageous, stand up for what is good and right whilst simultaneously being loving compassionate, giving and kind.  This exercise shows us how we can have the best of both worlds.  We don't have to associate being an objective judge with being a heartless tyrant.  We can do what's good for everyone.  It just means handling the judging process in two parts.

When we learn to judge others with the two outlooks, we will be able to transform our current environment into one that is perfect for happiness to take root, grow and flourish.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fifty two ~ Bribes blind the eyes of the Wise

Before we can hand down the verdict, we have to make sure it is fair and just.  One of the biggest hindrances to making an objective decision is personal involvement, or a bribe.  Things that can make us not really see the situation objectively and truthfully may be when:

• Money is involved
• Our feelings have been hurt
• One person involved is a relative
• One person is more likable or honourable in our eyes that the other person
• We've been bribed

In a case, the judge would have to excuse him/herself from judging under these circumstances.  Since we can't do that, we have to use the following tools to help us judge fairly.

1. Objectivity ~  We need to pretend we are not personally involved.
2. Ask Others for Advice ~ Seek out the advice of someone who is not personally involved.

When we access our inner wisdom we will discover that the quiet voice is like an advisor.  It may not have all of the information at hand, but it will advise us how to go about getting the information we need.

1. Reflect and ask  yourself:  "Who would be a good objective person to help me with my problems?"
2. If your quiet voice doesn't know, then ask "Please help me find a mentor/guide/friend that I can trust and consult" and keep your eyes open for someone who may enter into your life, or someone you already know but hadn't thought of.

We all need someone we can ask for unbiased advice.  Our inner voice has answers for us, but we have to sit quietly and ask them.  Our mind is an unbelievable bank of knowledge, wisdom and intuition.  We know more things than we realize. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

RAW Red Velvet Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream

The picture is fabulous, so how can the item not taste fabulous?  I found this recipe on Fragrant Vanilla Cake and it reached right out and grabbed me!  YUMMMM!

So, here's the recipe...

Raw Red Velvet Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream
Makes about 5 cups

Ice Cream:
1  cup coconut water
2  cups organic strawberries
2  cups young coconut meat (or raw cashews, soaked 4 hours and drained if unavailable)
2 cups soaked raw cashews, drained (soaked at least 4 hours)
1/2 cup raw agave nectar or raw honey or raw coconut nectar
seeds of one vanilla bean
a pinch of sea salt
1/2 cup coconut oil, warmed to liquid
3 inch chunk organic raw beet

1 cup chopped raw chocolate

Add coconut water to a food processor, along with cashews, coconut, agave nectar, vanilla, and sea salt. Process until smooth, then with the processor running, add the coconut oil slowly and process until well incorporated, about a minute. Remove 1/3 of the mixture and place in a bowl in the fridge.  Add the beet to the remaining mixture in the food processor and process until well blended.  Pour through a fine meshed strainer to remove any coconut or beet bits.  Pour the strained mixture into an ice cream maker and process according to directions. Remove from ice cream maker, stir in chocolate. and pour 1/3 of it into a freezer safe container with a lid, then add some of the plain vanilla mixture in Tbspfuls.  Add half the remaining red ice cream, then more drops of vanilla.  Add the rest of the red mixture, then the last of the vanilla.  Swirl with a knife.  Set in the freezer for about 4 hours, or overnight before serving. 

I bought all of the ingredients last night and will attempt to re-create the fabulousness (that is a word, btw) this weekend.  I will make sure and keep you posted on my results.  The BF totally LOVES red velvet frozen yogurt, so I'm hoping he'll like this!

Make sure you head over to Fragrant Vanilla Cake and check out her other good stuff! 

Fifty one ~ Talk it out

You can't find out the truth about what he said, she said, he said, unless you go to the source.  Go to the beginning of the mess and ask questions.  Did you say this?  Did you say that?  Why?  What made you say that?  Do you really believe that?  There is no sense listening to others, step up and ask the beginning of the mess.  In the long run you will become much more respected for stepping up.  And future bad talkers will think twice about saying something about you if you have a reputation of asking them what the heck they were thinking.

Give them a chance to explain themselves.  Don't assume that they are guilty, ask.  If they are guilty, give them a chance to explain themselves, see their side of the story.  Is there actually some truth to what they are saying?  You may find that they aren't the source, and they were talking about something someone else started.  Clear it up with this person, and keep moving towards the source.

1. Think of a person who was accused of something that you believed.  Example - a friend said "Kate said she hates you and never wants to see you again."
2. Try and approach the person in an accepting loving way, and ask with genuine interest and belief in their goodness, why they did/said that (or if they even did)

You may find the person will answer surprisingly  different than you thought.  Take the time to try this exercise out every chance you get.  It will restore your faith in the goodness of mankind.  In order to see the good you have to be strong enough to stare seeming evil in the face and say "So what's your side of the story?"

Either way, you need to know the truth, and then go from there!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

What is KOMBUCHA???

What is Kombucha

 Kombucha has been consumed for thousands of years and is a fermented probiotic drink that originated from China but oftentimes is credited to be originated from Russia.

It is made from tea, sugar, a scoby and a starter from a previous batch (you will need a starter kit to start brewing kombucha).  

The sugar and caffeine is used all up in the fermentation process so don’t worry, it has very little (if any) caffeine or sugar in the final product.

A SCOBY is an acronym for symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast.  In short, it’s beneficial bacteria and yeasts that work synergistically together to produce a certain type of ferment. 

Kombucha is brewed (or fermented) over a course of 7-31 days.  The final product is naturally carbonated making this a fizzy and tasty drink.

Kombucha has been know to have some amazing health benefits, lets dive into this topic!

Why Is Kombucha So Healthy For You

Kombucha around the world is considered a healing drink and it has some amazing health benefits.  

It should be noted the kombucha can not heal, it just brings your body into balance to allow your body to heal naturally!

Here is a list of healing properties from drinking kombucha.

• Probiotics – healthy bacteria
• Alkalize the body – balances internal pH
• Detoxify the liver – happy liver = happy mood
• Increase metabolism – rev your internal engine
• Improve digestion – keep your system moving
• Rebuild connective tissue – helps with arthritis, gout, asthma, rheumatism
• Cancer prevention
• Alleviate constipation
• Boost energy – helps with chronic fatigue
• Reduce blood pressure
• Relieve headaches & migraines
• Reduce kidney stones
• High in antioxidants – destroy free-radicals that cause cancer
• High in polyphenols
• Improve eyesight
• Heal excema – can be applied topically to soften the skin
• Prevent artheriosclerosis
• Speed healing of ulcers – kills h.pylori on contact
• Help clear up candida & yeast infections
• Aid healthy cell regeneration
• Reduce gray hair
• Lower glucose levels – prevents spiking from eating

List provided by Kombucha Kamp.

Getting Started

If this seems like something you would like to try, I will be doing the next post, Learn How To Brew Kombucha With An Easy Step By Step Tutorial, on Thursday.
If you want to jump start and get your kombucha starter kit early, you can purchase a starter kit from Sara over at Healthy Families For God. 
It is hands down the best price out there, at only $15 ~ shipping included!  It is important to buy from a reliable source.  This is where I got my starter and it showed up in just a few short days!

Get Your Starter Today

Sara, from Health Families For God, also gives you detailed directions and unlimited email support if you should need it!  What a value!

A Great Giveaway

We are also doing a great giveaway!   We have teamed up with Healthy Families For God to give away two kombucha starter kits!  

A starter kit comes with

• 1 organic scoby
• 1/2 cup organic kombucha from previous batch
• kombucha recipes
• detailed instructions on how to brew your own kombucha  
• unlimited email support if you should need it!

Just simply fill out the form below and you will be entered to win. 

You can earn more points if you leave a comment, tweet our giveaway and if you like us on Facebook!

Enter all 3 times for a better chance of winning!  We will pick a winner randomly at the end of the contest stated below.

If you are the winner, the starter kits will be promptly shipped out to you!  Enter to win today!

This post provided by Whole Lifestyle Nutrition...  click here for the full article, how to get started and a great giveaway!

Fifty ~ Hear the Defense

Once we've heard the charges and determined that it is worthy of hearing, it is our jurisdiction to start or close the case.  In order for the case to be fair, the accused should be allowed to defend the charges.  No one wants to be put on trial  without being allowed a chance to tell their side of the story.  Everything is done for a reason.  Nothing is simple.  There were things that led the accused to taking the actions that they did... or didn't do.

Think of someone who has done something wrong to you recently (took your parking spot, said something mean about you, etc)  Are there mitigating circumstances?  Find them.

The more we learn about defending people that hurt us, the less hurt we will be.  People aren't bad, they just occasionally do or say something bad.  We need to make sure it actually happened the way we were told it did.  Most people are too self absorbed to realize the impact they really make on others.  Once we learn how to defend people, we will have better relationships.  We will also discover that we are capable, effective and objective judges.  We will be able to judge each person/situation based on knowing all of the facts and then we will make good decisions that we will be confident are correct.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty nine ~ Confidently Criticized

Sometimes we hear from others that someone is upset with us, or sometimes they come to us to let us know.  It tends to take the wind out of your sails for a bit, not really a pleasant experience to receive criticism.   It is important to learn how to handle it when it happens.

1. Listen to what they are saying.
2. Ask yourself   "Is what they are saying true?"  There may be some truth to it, or there may be no truth to it.  
3. Admit to yourself that you're not perfect.  
4. Admit any fault to the accuser... apologize if necessary.
5. Positively affirm yourself.  Applaud yourself for handling the situation well.  

Make criticism a tool to become a better person.  The more we embrace criticism for opening our eyes, the happy a criticism will make us.  Yep, it will be awesome when a criticism makes us happy.  Remember, you're not perfect!

Find 3 trusted friends and ask them 5 areas you need improvement in.  If there is something in common from what you gather from the three friends, then that is the area you need to work on.  Be strong and be proud of yourself for having the courage to want to hear what you need to work on.

If we can treat ourselves like a business, we can look at ourselves and be constructive and appreciate the criticism.  Take it, and learn from it!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty eight ~ You're on trial

Positive people try to make people feel good, negative people try to make people feel bad.  It really is that simple.  Don't be a carrier of negative energy, keep it to yourself, or better yet, let it go!

When you find yourself in a negative situation, ask yourself how you can turn it around and make it positive.  Don't get caught up in the negative, let it go.  Flip it to the good side. 

Think whether today or recently someone has said something negative to you or about you  "you are a scatterbrain!"  Ask yourself....  "What is the evidence?"  "Is it true?"  If the answer is yes, then pass judgement on yourself by asking: "What can I do today to help prevent this from harming myself or others in the future?"  ... buy a notebook and write things down so you don't forget them???

Earlier we learned to evaluate ourselves every day.  If someone else is doing the evaluation, then we have to check the evidence and figure out what to do.  Its good to remember that we aren't perfect, no one is. 

Be pro-active when working on interpersonal relationship mistakes.  Be honest, and apologize if you need to.  Not many people are brave enough to face their problems.  Doing this will train us in the art of self mastery, integrity and inner strength.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty seven ~ Listen Carefully to the Prosecutor

What if this negative stuff people are saying is true?  What if we NEED to know it?  What if the information will help me to protect myself?  That is where it gets sticky.  Sometimes it may be necessary for us to listen to the garbage, so that we can be a good and informed judge.  When listening to the prosecutor, we need to ask ourselves "Is this true?"  We can't just believe the accusations, we need to listen carefully and determine if the evidence is believable.

"I bought this toaster and they charged me $20 more than the guy down the street, that guy is a thief!"  Just because you can find the same toaster somewhere else doesn't necessarily make that guy a thief, does it?  At this point, we probably need more information.  Is everything in his store higher than everyone else?  Do some investigating for yourself. Maybe its not the same model... maybe the other store has theirs on clearance... would it really be fair to deem this guy a thief at this point?

Think about something you heard recently.. something negative about another person.  Think about the evidence presented, was it just and fair?  Or was it opinion?  Check it out for yourself and see if the judgement was fair.

Sometimes we are biased.  Sometimes we are wrong.  Sometimes we are selfish.  You can't believe everything that you are told.  You're a smart person, listen carefully, ask more questions, if it merits your concern, do your own independent investigation.  I certainly don't want to be judged just by one person's opinions.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty six ~ DEAF

When you are being subjected to others bombardment of needless negativity we can choose to be DEAF.

D - Defend ~ We can choose to defend the person being verbally attacked.  Once we've defended them, change the subject.

E - Educate ~ We can teach the person who is looking at the negative how to find the positive and look for the good in things.  Maybe say "I hope you don't talk like that about me."  Saying such a comment, may embarrass him/her, so again, change the subject.

A - Alter ~ Alter the subject.  Ask something like "what did you do yesterday after work?"  or make a statement "hey, that reminds me of..."

F - Flee ~ If you can't get them to stop dumping their negative garbage on your head, leave.  Pretend you need to go the the bathroom if that's all you can come up with.  But leave!

Discuss this with a friend and practice your techniques on one another. We don't have to be a victim of someone else's negativity.  We can turn it around or leave.  The more skilled we become at these tools the more we will have positive conversations and interactions with others.  People will stop being negative around us if they know we won't listen to it. 

In the long run, this isn't about them, its about us.  We need to steer clear from the negative forces out there and embrace the happiness!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty five ~ Hearing the charge

The dynamics of Judging Objectively

The next sections are some ways to learn how to objectively judge other people.  They are guidelines to help us maintain a positive outlook on life and not get dragged down by other's negativity whilst at the same time not living in La-La Land where we are not prepared to protect ourselves against the negative side of humanity.

Until now we have been focusing on seeing the good, but that doesn't mean negative influences don't exist - they do.  We just want our mind to focus on what is good in the world because that will make us happy.  We cannot focus on the bad, we need to focus on the good stuff in our lives.  This section hopes to provide some guidelines to help walk the line between the two.

Learning to judge people / situations has four steps:

• Hearing the charge
• Listening to the Prosecutor
• Hearing the Defense
• Handing down Judgments

When we pass judgment we need to start a court case.  Listen to the charge and then decide if it is serious enough to warrant a court case.  (not a REAL court case, silly)  If someone were to step in front of the judge is the charge worth the judges time and attention?  In this situation, we are the judge.

1.  Does this come under our jurisdiction - do I need to know about it so I can take action?  Has this negative comment or action got anything to do with me or my life?

2.  Is it important enough to dwell on or is the accusation trivial?

3.  Is the person reading out the charges a trustworthy person?

Bottom line  - Do I really NEED to know this information?

Make a note (mental or otherwise) of how many times someone concentrates your attention on something negative, unpleasant or not to their taste, whether it be about another person, place thing or event.  Then at the end of the day add up how many of those comments you really need to hear.

If there is someone in your life that is always filling your head with negativity, it is time to turn that off.  It is time to turn on our filter and only accept necessary information.  It is a constant battle to shut out the negativity, but it is necessary.  People that struggle seeing the good in things love to share the negativity.  We don't have to see the world through them.

If we can filter out the bad and share the good, we may even change those negative people into positive people.  Stop being dragged down and maybe start dragging people up!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty four ~ Live and let Live

Imagine we just invested many hours planning, designing and finally creating a sumptuous meal for a dinner party we were having in the evening.  Once we have made the food, we are careful to protect the food from maggot laying flies entering our kitchen and spoiling our hard work.  So too we should be careful to protect our positivity from negative "flies" entering our lives. (isn't that the truth?!?!)

Our ability to remain positive and focused on the good in our lives and other people is often hampered by various negative influences that we may have in our lives.  The influences may be certain people, places or activities that we do.  If we want to maintain our positive focus we need to learn to navigate through these negative influences that threaten to tip us off balance.

We are all judges of our own kingdom.  We judge people, places and events all day long.  In order to lead a life full of joy and happiness, we need to learn how to be objective, benevolent, but true and fair judges.  We need to know when to distance ourselves from destructive influences, and when to try and rehabilitate those destructive influences and allow them to remain around us.  When judging we need to be truthful to ourselves, we need to see the good in others, events and situations, and at the same time we need to be fully cognizant of the negativity that they may introduce.

We judge others whether we like it or not, it is a human trait to decode the environment we are living in, and judge how that affects us and act accordingly.  Judging others doesn't mean walking around with a condemning mindset, that's a good way to be miserable.  judging others means seeing the good and the not so good, then putting both of these in perspective, and analysing how this person, place or event impacts on us and the other people around us.  If we conclude that the person, place or event is having a negative effect on us then we decide what to do.

Think about a person you don't like very much.

Now ask yourself:  "Why don't I like him/her?"

Is it a feeling?  Is it based on evidence, facts, experience, etc?

Now ask yourself:

1. Am I being fair and objective in my judgment of this person?
2. Have I honestly looked at this person?
3. Am I able to see the good side of them as well as the bad?
4. Am I distancing myself from this person because they are likely to be a negative influence on me or others?

If you answered no to any of the questions then you will benefit greatly from learning the skills of being able to objectively judge others.

In order to be happy, upbeat and vibrant people we need to know how to deal with drag-me-down types of people in a loving but firm manner.  We don't need to let negative influences on us make us into bitter or angry people.  We can learn to judge objectively, taking nothing "personally" and leave our negative emotions out of it.

We can be assertive and caring, happy and firm, loving and self-assured all at the same time.  This exercise will teach us the first step, and that is getting in touch with how we currently judge people.  Over the next few days we will be looking at various ways to become a better judge and hopefully by the end of the section we will be a loving, confident, wise and objective judge.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform