Sixty two ~ Inner Coach

This one will be the death of me....

We have an inner quiet voice, but we also have two inner noisy voices going on in our heads.  One noisy voice is the "I" voice - "I want... I will... I won't.... I don't want.."  This is the voice of desire, constantly wanting more or less of something, everything.

The other voice is the "you" voice - "You really should get up.  You are always late.  You shouldn't eat that.  You are fat."  This voice wants us to be the best we can be, it is our inner coach.  Both of these voices blab away at us talking constantly.  These noisy voices are superficial and shallow.

Now it's time to whip that inner coach into shape.  We want it to motivate us with positive talk.  We need to train that inner coach to speak to us in a way that we would like to be spoken to, to encourage ourselves to greater heights with positive words not with put downs.  Encouraging ourselves will morph into encouraging others and soon every thought and word will be positive and loving.

1. Listen to your noisy voices for a few days, learn how to identify the "I" voice and the "you" coach.
2. When your "you" voice tries to motivate you in a not so kind way, rephrase it in a positive motivating way... from "get up lazy" to "it's OK, go ahead and get up, once you're up, you'll feel better."

We have to live with ourselves 24/7.  Life will be so much more pleasant if its a positive happy self that we listen to.  It isn't just you, EVERYONE has these voices.   You have the choice to change those voices and make them positive happy ones.  You owe it to yourself to do this exercise. 

Fifty nine ~ Lost Cause

There are givers and there are takers.  Takers will take just as much as you let them take and they won't understand when you stop, because what was wrong with them taking what you were giving them?  They aren't even grateful for the things that you give them.  They just expect it, and somehow rationalize that you have always given to them, so now you kind of owe them.

I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.  Those people aren't good for you.  We need to see clearly enough to see that they are bottomless pits of demands on us.  They won't ever appreciate us and what we give them.   And we're really not doing them a favor by giving.   It's time to say no.  And mean it. 

The same rules apply to our problems.  We need to know with 100% clarity that WE are the only ones who can be responsible for the problems we have, its no use blaming others.  We are the only one responsible for our mental well being.  We can't solve other people's problems, but we can solve our own.

1. Do you have a relationship where the other person refuses to take responsibility for his/her behavior?  If so, then what steps should you take to start freeing yourself from this burden (including how will you maintain your resolve in this matter?)
2. Ask yourself:  "Do I blame anybody for a lack of anything (money, success, good character traits, etc) in my life?"  If your quiet voice answers "yes", ask: "How can I start to take control of my own well being today?"

Taking responsibility of your own life, actions and consequences of our actions will empower us to change ourselves for the good.  Trying to take responsibility for the life, actions and consequences of the actions in someone else's life will drain us and will never cause the other person to change.

This exercise helps us to change what we can change and leave what we can't.  We can focus all our energy on what we can do and not waste it on thing we can't change.  (something I work on everyday!)

Go figure out where your vitality is being drained, plug up the holes and use that vitality to change your life into an unbelievably pleasurable existence!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fifty four ~ 50/50

"The evidence is in (she lied to me).  The defendant has given a pretty good defense (she said she didn't really say it, and that I misunderstood) but really nothing is conclusive, how am I supposed to judge this one?"

When we are in doubt, it is best to give them the benefit of the doubt.  If we really can't find any solid conclusive evidence then we should just dismiss the case.  Perhaps we will get more clarity or proof at a later date, then we can take another look at the case and go from there.  Dropping the case now is better than dragging something on and on that you just cant prove. On the other hand, if the case really is invalid, then you did the right thing.  It isn't fair to hold something against someone when you aren't even positive that it actually happened.  Just let it go.

Is there an unfulfilled relationship/friendship you are currently in?  Are you still unsure if someone did something and holding a grudge against them just because you don't know what else to do?  Take the time today to get the facts and make a decision today.  Stop dragging it out, do it now.

People deserve the decency of being treated fairly and lovingly.  Get the facts and deliver the verdict. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fifty three ~ Misplaced idealism

"She shouldn't have stolen from him, but is so wealthy, and she is so poor, so what's the problem?"

It is important that we don't find a reason to justify something that isn't OK no matter what.  It is good to have compassion, but make sure it is properly placed.  It is better to set up two departments, one as the Judgement section (Justice system) and one as the Social Kindness section.  If a judgement is necessary, then it needs to be handed down.  By all means hand down the judgement, but if you feel compassion, then help them repay that judgement with community service or something of the like.

Think of a situation in your life where you need to be tough because something wrong was done, but you find it hard to be tough because you have pity on the person.  Do you have someone in your life that treats you abusively, but you feel they are justified?  (maybe they were having a bad day)

Be a good judge:

1. "Should this person behave like this?" (regardless of justifications)
2. "What should be done to/for this person to help this not happen again?"
3. "What can I do, or get other's to do to help this person with their problem now and in the future?"

Maybe you need someone else to help you with these questions.   We can be strong, courageous, stand up for what is good and right whilst simultaneously being loving compassionate, giving and kind.  This exercise shows us how we can have the best of both worlds.  We don't have to associate being an objective judge with being a heartless tyrant.  We can do what's good for everyone.  It just means handling the judging process in two parts.

When we learn to judge others with the two outlooks, we will be able to transform our current environment into one that is perfect for happiness to take root, grow and flourish.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fifty one ~ Talk it out

You can't find out the truth about what he said, she said, he said, unless you go to the source.  Go to the beginning of the mess and ask questions.  Did you say this?  Did you say that?  Why?  What made you say that?  Do you really believe that?  There is no sense listening to others, step up and ask the beginning of the mess.  In the long run you will become much more respected for stepping up.  And future bad talkers will think twice about saying something about you if you have a reputation of asking them what the heck they were thinking.

Give them a chance to explain themselves.  Don't assume that they are guilty, ask.  If they are guilty, give them a chance to explain themselves, see their side of the story.  Is there actually some truth to what they are saying?  You may find that they aren't the source, and they were talking about something someone else started.  Clear it up with this person, and keep moving towards the source.

1. Think of a person who was accused of something that you believed.  Example - a friend said "Kate said she hates you and never wants to see you again."
2. Try and approach the person in an accepting loving way, and ask with genuine interest and belief in their goodness, why they did/said that (or if they even did)

You may find the person will answer surprisingly  different than you thought.  Take the time to try this exercise out every chance you get.  It will restore your faith in the goodness of mankind.  In order to see the good you have to be strong enough to stare seeming evil in the face and say "So what's your side of the story?"

Either way, you need to know the truth, and then go from there!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty nine ~ Confidently Criticized

Sometimes we hear from others that someone is upset with us, or sometimes they come to us to let us know.  It tends to take the wind out of your sails for a bit, not really a pleasant experience to receive criticism.   It is important to learn how to handle it when it happens.

1. Listen to what they are saying.
2. Ask yourself   "Is what they are saying true?"  There may be some truth to it, or there may be no truth to it.  
3. Admit to yourself that you're not perfect.  
4. Admit any fault to the accuser... apologize if necessary.
5. Positively affirm yourself.  Applaud yourself for handling the situation well.  

Make criticism a tool to become a better person.  The more we embrace criticism for opening our eyes, the happy a criticism will make us.  Yep, it will be awesome when a criticism makes us happy.  Remember, you're not perfect!

Find 3 trusted friends and ask them 5 areas you need improvement in.  If there is something in common from what you gather from the three friends, then that is the area you need to work on.  Be strong and be proud of yourself for having the courage to want to hear what you need to work on.

If we can treat ourselves like a business, we can look at ourselves and be constructive and appreciate the criticism.  Take it, and learn from it!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty eight ~ You're on trial

Positive people try to make people feel good, negative people try to make people feel bad.  It really is that simple.  Don't be a carrier of negative energy, keep it to yourself, or better yet, let it go!

When you find yourself in a negative situation, ask yourself how you can turn it around and make it positive.  Don't get caught up in the negative, let it go.  Flip it to the good side. 

Think whether today or recently someone has said something negative to you or about you  "you are a scatterbrain!"  Ask yourself....  "What is the evidence?"  "Is it true?"  If the answer is yes, then pass judgement on yourself by asking: "What can I do today to help prevent this from harming myself or others in the future?"  ... buy a notebook and write things down so you don't forget them???

Earlier we learned to evaluate ourselves every day.  If someone else is doing the evaluation, then we have to check the evidence and figure out what to do.  Its good to remember that we aren't perfect, no one is. 

Be pro-active when working on interpersonal relationship mistakes.  Be honest, and apologize if you need to.  Not many people are brave enough to face their problems.  Doing this will train us in the art of self mastery, integrity and inner strength.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty six ~ DEAF

When you are being subjected to others bombardment of needless negativity we can choose to be DEAF.

D - Defend ~ We can choose to defend the person being verbally attacked.  Once we've defended them, change the subject.

E - Educate ~ We can teach the person who is looking at the negative how to find the positive and look for the good in things.  Maybe say "I hope you don't talk like that about me."  Saying such a comment, may embarrass him/her, so again, change the subject.

A - Alter ~ Alter the subject.  Ask something like "what did you do yesterday after work?"  or make a statement "hey, that reminds me of..."

F - Flee ~ If you can't get them to stop dumping their negative garbage on your head, leave.  Pretend you need to go the the bathroom if that's all you can come up with.  But leave!

Discuss this with a friend and practice your techniques on one another. We don't have to be a victim of someone else's negativity.  We can turn it around or leave.  The more skilled we become at these tools the more we will have positive conversations and interactions with others.  People will stop being negative around us if they know we won't listen to it. 

In the long run, this isn't about them, its about us.  We need to steer clear from the negative forces out there and embrace the happiness!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty five ~ Hearing the charge

The dynamics of Judging Objectively

The next sections are some ways to learn how to objectively judge other people.  They are guidelines to help us maintain a positive outlook on life and not get dragged down by other's negativity whilst at the same time not living in La-La Land where we are not prepared to protect ourselves against the negative side of humanity.

Until now we have been focusing on seeing the good, but that doesn't mean negative influences don't exist - they do.  We just want our mind to focus on what is good in the world because that will make us happy.  We cannot focus on the bad, we need to focus on the good stuff in our lives.  This section hopes to provide some guidelines to help walk the line between the two.

Learning to judge people / situations has four steps:

• Hearing the charge
• Listening to the Prosecutor
• Hearing the Defense
• Handing down Judgments

When we pass judgment we need to start a court case.  Listen to the charge and then decide if it is serious enough to warrant a court case.  (not a REAL court case, silly)  If someone were to step in front of the judge is the charge worth the judges time and attention?  In this situation, we are the judge.

1.  Does this come under our jurisdiction - do I need to know about it so I can take action?  Has this negative comment or action got anything to do with me or my life?

2.  Is it important enough to dwell on or is the accusation trivial?

3.  Is the person reading out the charges a trustworthy person?

Bottom line  - Do I really NEED to know this information?

Make a note (mental or otherwise) of how many times someone concentrates your attention on something negative, unpleasant or not to their taste, whether it be about another person, place thing or event.  Then at the end of the day add up how many of those comments you really need to hear.

If there is someone in your life that is always filling your head with negativity, it is time to turn that off.  It is time to turn on our filter and only accept necessary information.  It is a constant battle to shut out the negativity, but it is necessary.  People that struggle seeing the good in things love to share the negativity.  We don't have to see the world through them.

If we can filter out the bad and share the good, we may even change those negative people into positive people.  Stop being dragged down and maybe start dragging people up!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty four ~ Live and let Live

Imagine we just invested many hours planning, designing and finally creating a sumptuous meal for a dinner party we were having in the evening.  Once we have made the food, we are careful to protect the food from maggot laying flies entering our kitchen and spoiling our hard work.  So too we should be careful to protect our positivity from negative "flies" entering our lives. (isn't that the truth?!?!)

Our ability to remain positive and focused on the good in our lives and other people is often hampered by various negative influences that we may have in our lives.  The influences may be certain people, places or activities that we do.  If we want to maintain our positive focus we need to learn to navigate through these negative influences that threaten to tip us off balance.

We are all judges of our own kingdom.  We judge people, places and events all day long.  In order to lead a life full of joy and happiness, we need to learn how to be objective, benevolent, but true and fair judges.  We need to know when to distance ourselves from destructive influences, and when to try and rehabilitate those destructive influences and allow them to remain around us.  When judging we need to be truthful to ourselves, we need to see the good in others, events and situations, and at the same time we need to be fully cognizant of the negativity that they may introduce.

We judge others whether we like it or not, it is a human trait to decode the environment we are living in, and judge how that affects us and act accordingly.  Judging others doesn't mean walking around with a condemning mindset, that's a good way to be miserable.  judging others means seeing the good and the not so good, then putting both of these in perspective, and analysing how this person, place or event impacts on us and the other people around us.  If we conclude that the person, place or event is having a negative effect on us then we decide what to do.

Think about a person you don't like very much.

Now ask yourself:  "Why don't I like him/her?"

Is it a feeling?  Is it based on evidence, facts, experience, etc?

Now ask yourself:

1. Am I being fair and objective in my judgment of this person?
2. Have I honestly looked at this person?
3. Am I able to see the good side of them as well as the bad?
4. Am I distancing myself from this person because they are likely to be a negative influence on me or others?

If you answered no to any of the questions then you will benefit greatly from learning the skills of being able to objectively judge others.

In order to be happy, upbeat and vibrant people we need to know how to deal with drag-me-down types of people in a loving but firm manner.  We don't need to let negative influences on us make us into bitter or angry people.  We can learn to judge objectively, taking nothing "personally" and leave our negative emotions out of it.

We can be assertive and caring, happy and firm, loving and self-assured all at the same time.  This exercise will teach us the first step, and that is getting in touch with how we currently judge people.  Over the next few days we will be looking at various ways to become a better judge and hopefully by the end of the section we will be a loving, confident, wise and objective judge.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty three ~ You're the judge

Up until now we have been talking about trying to see the good in things.  Through training ourselves to see the good, and by concentrating on that good and tracing back all of the good so that we can be thankful for the good.  The next step is to learn some tools to help us protect our ability to continue to think positively and see the good and the best tool to learn is objectivity.

The toughest part is learning to judge ourselves objectively.  We need to be able to honestly look at ourselves in the mirror and see us for who we are.  This includes the good things, while we generally notice the bad things.    Our lives and personal development are serious issues.  We have to want to improve ourselves, no one else can.  If we don't want to work at maximizing our potential, no fairy is going to come along and wave their magic wand for us.

The best method is to do a daily accounting.  Look at what you did with your day and figure out where you could have improved.  When we learn to honestly judge ourselves we are able to direct our lives towards good and avoid all the pitfalls of the past.

At the end of the day, think about your day and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What were the 3 best parts of my day?
2. What did I do (say or think) that was good or brought out the elevated side of my nature?
3. What are my goals in life?
4. How did my actions today lead me towards my goals?
5. What's one thing I did (said or thought) today that wasn't reflective of the type of person I want to be?
6. How can I do better tomorrow?

Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself, and don't be afraid to admit that you've made a mistake.  it's human to make mistakes but it's foolish not to plan ways to avoid making them again.  This exercise is the key to continued, sustained success and growth.  it will keep us positive, keep our eye on our goals and help us weed out anything we are doing that is destructive.  The essence of this exercise is to be able to look objectively at ourselves and our day and then take action.

  


Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty two ~ Wishing Well

"Have a great day!"
"I hope you have a great year!"

When we wish good things to happen to people, this has an enormous impact on the world for good.  We become more positive and develop our hearts to be open and giving.  The person receiving our good wishes feels loved and cared for; and the vibes or general atmosphere of the world becomes more positive and loving. 

Wouldn't it be nice to wish something positive on everyone we meet?  Every shop keeper, security guard, friend, associate or even someone that we don't like.  A smile is a way of expressing approval and acceptance of another person, so if we wish someone that good fortune comes their way, and we do it with a smile, we are like a person writing a decree, and our smile is the seal of approval to confirm this good wish.

I don't know about you, but it really bothers me when I am walking along and I make eye contact with someone and smile and they just look at me like "what".  If someone smiled at me, I would totally smile back, but I'd already be smiling, so... anyway.

The most destructive type of wishing bad onto other people is when we wish bad things happen to people who have bestowed good upon us.  Come on... you've done it... I 've done it.  We need to change that bad outlook to a positive outlook. 

1. Resolve from today onwards, never to wish bad upon anyone who has ever bestowed any goodness upon us.
2.   Today wish another person well.  (It makes a positive difference to us and the world if we verbally express a good wish for another person even if that person can't hear us.)

 If we want to stay away from negativity then we can never wish bad upon anyone.  Being careful to avoid this will be a good fence or safeguard to stop us from falling into a habit of negativity and losing sight of reality.  Reality is we are all very, very blessed with much good in our lives and we all have so much to be grateful for.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty one ~ Grumbling

The biggest poison in a life of positivity is to grumble or complain.  Grumbling means looking at what is in our lives from a negative viewpoint.  Grumbling is not to be confused with seeing a situation that needs to be fixed, and then doing what we can to rectify what is not to our liking.   Instead, it is the useless expression of negativity which has no positive result.

We all have down days.  On these days, we need to look at how we feel, accept that its OK to have off days, and then know with 100% clarity that on days like this, we tend to blow things out of proportion and forget to see the silver lining in everything.  Once we know it is just one of those days, we can choose to try hard not to verbalize our grumps and moans. 

Holding back on the grumps, moans and criticisms is a fantastic way of building our positive attitude.  The more we can hold back, the higher we can climb when we are feeling up again. 

Try and squash a moan, groan, criticism or negative comment about something or someone today.  Feel your strength of character being given a work out by being able to muzzle your moan!

If we can hold it in, we can find our way to the happy thoughts.  To maximize happiness we need to get rid of what drags us down into misery.  We have to learn to muzzle our mouths, hold it firmly shut and keep silent.  Once we have learned the art of holding back our negativity, we can then tell our minds to concentrate on the good things. 

People avoid moaning, miserable people.  They can't be bothered with them.  They may not say it to your face, but they don't really care about your aches, pains and worries, they've got their own to deal with.  Sometimes you have something that you need to talk through.  Everyone needs a good friend that they can confide in and who can help them by hearing out their problems.  It is necessary to have that friend and listener to share with.  There is a difference in sharing our negativity for therapeutic reasons and just dumping our negativity on everyone. 

This exercise will help us not get pulled down by our internal negativity.  Once we learn to ignore those moans, groans and criticisms, we will fly high on the power of the positive speech that we'll cultivate instead. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty ~ It's so hard

It is easy to say thank you for the simple things... Thanks for the ride, thanks for the lunch, etc.  Why is it embarrassing say thanks for being given something big that I couldn't have accomplished on my own?  When someone does us a favor, deep down we know we owe them something.  If we find it too embarrassing to say thank you, it's because we really want to avoid admitting that we owe this person something that honestly we can't repay.  The closes we can come to repaying the favor is by paying our debt of gratitude.  The bigger the favor a person did for us, the bigger the debt we have.  With big debts, sometimes we would prefer to pretend they just don't exist.

When someone we don't like does us a favor it is a great opportunity to upgrade our happiness.  It can be a catalyst for us to start to see them in a better light than we previously saw them.  If they have done something kind for us then they MUST have some good qualities.  When we are strong enough to admit we may have been wrong about how we perceived another person, we are on the road to upgrading our levels of joy immensely.  Saying thank you is not lowering ourselves, its in fact being big, admitting our debts and repaying them - we are making ourselves higher and better people when we do this. 

Sometimes we overlook all the good and kind things that those closes to us do for us.  The magnitude of what our parents, teachers, siblings, spouse and children do is so great that we actually become desensitised to appreciating it.  If we could imagine a complete stranger doing the exact same things for us, we would really know how to notice and appreciate all the good our closest ones do for us.

Think of the 3 most important gifts you've been given in life - have you adequately thanked the giver for them?  If not, thank one of them today.  (If the person is no longer alive, you can still verbalize your gratitude and pretend they are standing in front of you.)

It's a fantastic feeling to go back over our lives and work out who we owe a debt of gratitude to and then to actually pay it by saying thank you.  The person who we thank will be so surprised.  (they'll never expect it)  We will feel good about ourselves, because we all love the pleasure of making another person happy.  We will also have sense of feeling lighter.  There will be more bounce in our step, song will pour forth from our lips and we'll smile more readily, because deep down we will actually feel the weighty debt of gratitude gone and instead we will feel our self worth soaring.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirty nine ~ Nobody Home

Take a good look around.  We are surrounded by so many good things.  Walking around and expressing thanks for all that we see, hear, smell, touch and feel is guaranteed to lift your spirits.  there isn't a day that goes by without something to be grateful for.

When we notice myriads of wonderful things in our lives, we can't help but be happy.  There is a way of making us feel a deeper sense of happiness.  Don't just notice the good, but be thankful.  The more we notice the good, and then appreciate it, the happier we will be.  When we hear ourselves say "Thank you" our appreciation levels increase.  Saying thank you is a practical tool to help us work on increasing our ability to appreciate everything.

1. Try this... at dinner tonight, see who can come up with the most number of ingredients, people, packaging and processes that were needed to get the main course on the table - the person with the most on their list gets a double dessert!  Then say a big "thank you!"
2. If you're alone, then walk around your home for 2 minutes saying "thank you" for everything you see and appreciate.  (It's helpful to set a timer that will beep when your time is up.  That way you don't get distracted by the time and lose your train of "thank you" thoughts.)

 We don't need to wait for someone to do us a favor in order to tune into the benefits of feeling grateful.  We can look around and see all of the wonderful things in our life and say "thank you."  The expression of feeling gratitude causes us to feel beloved and cared for.  Why not walk around with this feeling, even when no one is around?

Do this exercise regularly so you can recognize the exciting different things each day.  It may sound like a very simple exercise and it is, but don't let that fool you, it is very powerful.

  

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirty eight ~ Ohh Ta!

We were all taught from a very young age to say thank you, but how many people still do it?  What if we thanked everyone when they did something for us?  What if we sat down and figured out all of the people that we didn't say thank you to? 

We are born with nothing and when we die we will not have anything.  Anything we receive along the way is really just a gift.  Even the "gift of life" is a gift.  Happiness comes from appreciating the gifts we have.  There is a simple slogan which if we were to keep it in mind would increase our happiness incredibly....

EXPECT EVERYTHING = APPRECIATE NOTHING

EXPECT NOTHING = APPRECIATE EVERYTHING

Happiness is often dependent on our expectations.  If we change our expectations of life, to not expect anything, then we will have immense appreciation whenever we are given anything.  This feeling of appreciation brings us true happiness.. If we integrated the thought, "everything in life is a gift" we would be exceptionally grateful and happy people.

Happy people anticipate good things happening, but they don't think they have a "right" for these things to happen.  Having an expectation that life owes us something leads to misery.  Having an upbeat outlook that good things will happen, leads to happiness.

Try and thank three people today.  This can be done by speaking / writing / calling or any other way you can think of.

Happy people are grateful people, and grateful people are happy people.  When you enter the mindset of gratitude, automatically your focus is positive.  The attitude of gratitude requires that a person look outside of their own selfish "I want, I need " and instead focus on "I have, I'm fulfilled"

Gratitude integrates the knowledge that others love us, into an emotion of actually feeling loved and cared for.  The more we express our thanks to another, the more WE FEEL good.  Saying thank you is good for our emotional well being.  It's not just a social nicety or a polite thing to do. 

If we can do this exercise everyday for at least 3 months, you will notice how much more you appreciate life and how more loved we feel.  This exercise is a great technique to help remold our entire personality.  It will bring amazing results that we will be so please with.  In the end, we will even begin to thank ourselves for persisting in acquiring this ability!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirty seven ~ Seeing the patterns

When we get good at seeing the good things in life and noticing all those wonderful details that we've previously been oblivious to, we will start noticing patterns.  We will notice various people will pop up in our minds that have always been there for us when we needed it.  Or we will notice who of our friends gives us the most pleasure.  Or we may notice that we enjoy the day more when we get up earlier.  By opening our eyes to see the patterns, we become sensitized to how much good others do for us, what gives us the most pleasure and who we should appreciate more.

Seeing the patters of who gives us the most brings us a feeling of appreciation so great that it brims over, and we feel we just have to express it to the people who have done so much for us.  We can also identify where we are getting most of our pleasures and then we can get more.

If we want to increase our pleasure in life, we need to learn where to get it.  Once we find the sources we can work on getting more.  Seeing the patterns in our life and noticing who and what provide them, helps us know where to turn, or what to do to get real, lasting and continuous pleasure.

1. Trace back where you got the 5 most important life wisdom's ( work ethic, honesty, etc)  Are there patterns?  Acknowledge the source of your gifts.
2. At the end of the day, before you go to sleep, mentally review your day and make note of what were the 3 most pleasurable things about your day.  Do this for a while, until you start noticing patterns in what you find most enjoyable.  Incorporate more this tomorrow!

When we are astute enough to see the patterns of good in our life, we will be able to tap into that good whenever we want.  Happiness is not a product of random happenings, it can be worked for and planned for.  When planning for a happy and successful life, it is important to see where we've previously found the most happiness and success.  When we can recognize the sources we can go back for more.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform