Sixty four ~ The Pleasure of being In-Charge

It is kind of ironic that today I finally decide to get back to posting and it happens to be the day that we read about being in charge.  I haven't been in charge for weeks now :(

We love to be in control.  We love to push ourselves beyond what we believe to be our limits.  It brings a sense of accomplishment, our own little high  "look what I just did!!!"  We can also get this feeling from biting our tongues when we really want to say something mean and awful (even if its true).   When we do things that we know we shouldn't we get a sense of guilt, that certainly isn't an enjoyable adventure.  If we do something that we didn't want to, or say something we shouldn't have, we feel bad.

We are not doomed to act according to old negative habits, we can free ourselves from these patterns by deciding to be the "real me".  It isn't going to be easy, or instant.  When we do or say something negative, remind yourself  "that is the old me".  Pick yourself back up and do the right thing. 

Be the boss today!  Do something right!  React the way your "real me" wants to react.  Stop putting things off.  Enjoy the "real you"  today!

Once you recognize that part of you is tough, strong, disciplined and focused then we can act as that person.  This exercise will empower you to be the person you want to be.  Little by little, the more you try,  the sooner it will be natural.  You will have fewer regrets in life, better interpersonal relationships and a hugely upgraded level of self love!

Sixty ~ Feeling good about yourself

How do we learn to feel good about ourselves?

1)  External

Feeling good about yourself by doing things that make you feel good is the most common way people wok on self esteem.  There is a ton of literature on creating self esteem.  Setting and achieving goals is a good way to increase our self esteem, but it is a temporary fix, not a permanent one.  And what happens if we don't achieve that goal?

The main points to know about using external stimulus to build self esteem:

• Use it when you can - it will give you energy when you need it.
• Don't rely totally on your goals to determine your self worth
• Find an external stimulus that can be used repeatedly... an act of kindness every day.

2)  Internal

Work on developing a sense of self worth by learning how to appreciate who you already are.  Peel off the layers to who you really are and appreciate that person.   Love your inner self... your inner voice.  The more we can listen to our inner voice and act accordingly, the more we can become that inner voice, live and breathe that inner voice.

OK, it's time.... set an easily achievable goal and allow yourself until the end of the day to achieve it.  At the end of the day, pat yourself on the back for achieving that goal and internalize that good feeling due to your success.

This isn't something to do only when we need extra good energy, this is something to do everyday.  Build up your reserves and feel good about yourself everyday, all the time. 

Love Every Day

Once we've learned how to see the good in our lives and make a protective fence around that good, the next step is to foster and grow our inner-self so that a deep self love will flourish.  Cultivating happiness is like making a beautiful garden, the first step is to see that our garden plot is beautiful, has good soil and lots of potential, the second step is to erect a protective fence around our garden so wild animals don't come and trample it.  The third step is to maintain our garden by planting beautiful plants that will grow and flourish with time making our garden into the most exquisite island of paradise.  When we've successfully done all three steps then we have cultivated a glorious amount of happiness and inner bliss.

Lets continue the journey towards a blissful life by getting to know ourselves, finding out what really makes us happy, what drains us and to learn to LOVE the absolute beauty of being "me"  Once we have learned to recognize our greatness, to act in ways that make us feel good and to value ourselves as the great and wonderful person that we really are, then we will have opened up the gates of inner serenity, which is a very high level of happiness!

Getting to know ourselves is a lifelong process.  We are always changing and growing based on our experiences.  The more we learn about ourselves, the more we will come to truly love ourselves.  Self love is a necessity.   We know what is wrong with us, so we can't hide from ourselves.  It is a balance of accepting who we are despite our faults and loving "me" anyway.  Once we learn to look in the mirror and see "the real me" we will fall madly in love with ourselves.

Fifty four ~ 50/50

"The evidence is in (she lied to me).  The defendant has given a pretty good defense (she said she didn't really say it, and that I misunderstood) but really nothing is conclusive, how am I supposed to judge this one?"

When we are in doubt, it is best to give them the benefit of the doubt.  If we really can't find any solid conclusive evidence then we should just dismiss the case.  Perhaps we will get more clarity or proof at a later date, then we can take another look at the case and go from there.  Dropping the case now is better than dragging something on and on that you just cant prove. On the other hand, if the case really is invalid, then you did the right thing.  It isn't fair to hold something against someone when you aren't even positive that it actually happened.  Just let it go.

Is there an unfulfilled relationship/friendship you are currently in?  Are you still unsure if someone did something and holding a grudge against them just because you don't know what else to do?  Take the time today to get the facts and make a decision today.  Stop dragging it out, do it now.

People deserve the decency of being treated fairly and lovingly.  Get the facts and deliver the verdict. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty three ~ You're the judge

Up until now we have been talking about trying to see the good in things.  Through training ourselves to see the good, and by concentrating on that good and tracing back all of the good so that we can be thankful for the good.  The next step is to learn some tools to help us protect our ability to continue to think positively and see the good and the best tool to learn is objectivity.

The toughest part is learning to judge ourselves objectively.  We need to be able to honestly look at ourselves in the mirror and see us for who we are.  This includes the good things, while we generally notice the bad things.    Our lives and personal development are serious issues.  We have to want to improve ourselves, no one else can.  If we don't want to work at maximizing our potential, no fairy is going to come along and wave their magic wand for us.

The best method is to do a daily accounting.  Look at what you did with your day and figure out where you could have improved.  When we learn to honestly judge ourselves we are able to direct our lives towards good and avoid all the pitfalls of the past.

At the end of the day, think about your day and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What were the 3 best parts of my day?
2. What did I do (say or think) that was good or brought out the elevated side of my nature?
3. What are my goals in life?
4. How did my actions today lead me towards my goals?
5. What's one thing I did (said or thought) today that wasn't reflective of the type of person I want to be?
6. How can I do better tomorrow?

Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself, and don't be afraid to admit that you've made a mistake.  it's human to make mistakes but it's foolish not to plan ways to avoid making them again.  This exercise is the key to continued, sustained success and growth.  it will keep us positive, keep our eye on our goals and help us weed out anything we are doing that is destructive.  The essence of this exercise is to be able to look objectively at ourselves and our day and then take action.

  


Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty ~ It's so hard

It is easy to say thank you for the simple things... Thanks for the ride, thanks for the lunch, etc.  Why is it embarrassing say thanks for being given something big that I couldn't have accomplished on my own?  When someone does us a favor, deep down we know we owe them something.  If we find it too embarrassing to say thank you, it's because we really want to avoid admitting that we owe this person something that honestly we can't repay.  The closes we can come to repaying the favor is by paying our debt of gratitude.  The bigger the favor a person did for us, the bigger the debt we have.  With big debts, sometimes we would prefer to pretend they just don't exist.

When someone we don't like does us a favor it is a great opportunity to upgrade our happiness.  It can be a catalyst for us to start to see them in a better light than we previously saw them.  If they have done something kind for us then they MUST have some good qualities.  When we are strong enough to admit we may have been wrong about how we perceived another person, we are on the road to upgrading our levels of joy immensely.  Saying thank you is not lowering ourselves, its in fact being big, admitting our debts and repaying them - we are making ourselves higher and better people when we do this. 

Sometimes we overlook all the good and kind things that those closes to us do for us.  The magnitude of what our parents, teachers, siblings, spouse and children do is so great that we actually become desensitised to appreciating it.  If we could imagine a complete stranger doing the exact same things for us, we would really know how to notice and appreciate all the good our closest ones do for us.

Think of the 3 most important gifts you've been given in life - have you adequately thanked the giver for them?  If not, thank one of them today.  (If the person is no longer alive, you can still verbalize your gratitude and pretend they are standing in front of you.)

It's a fantastic feeling to go back over our lives and work out who we owe a debt of gratitude to and then to actually pay it by saying thank you.  The person who we thank will be so surprised.  (they'll never expect it)  We will feel good about ourselves, because we all love the pleasure of making another person happy.  We will also have sense of feeling lighter.  There will be more bounce in our step, song will pour forth from our lips and we'll smile more readily, because deep down we will actually feel the weighty debt of gratitude gone and instead we will feel our self worth soaring.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Juice Away your Belly fat!

Just found this article on Fitlife.tv

Belly fat is dangerous and it takes more than just exercising to reduce that fat around your belly. You need to eat food high in nutrients.

1. Apples

Apples contain pectin, a water soluble fiber and are packed with antioxidants. Juicing apples or eating them raw can decrease the amount of visceral fat (fat around your stomach and organs). The fiber from the apple also keeps you feeling full.

2. Tomatoes

Tomatoes are packed with vitamins C, A and B and also essential vitamins and minerals. Most people don’t want to eat tomatoes because they think that since it’s a fruit that it’s loaded with sugar. Tomatoes score a 15 on the glycemic index so it won’t spike your blood sugar. Cooking tomatoes is actually really beneficial. When tomatoes are heated they actually have a lycopene content and helps with absorption of nutrients.

3. Celery

Celery is great. It’s also a great base to any juice recipe.  It has anti-cancer properties, aides in digestion, acts as a diuretic, and is anti-inflammatory. Celery is rich in sodium and potassium, which is a great after workout drink. Celery contains coumarins, which have anticancer properties. Coumarin also help lower blood pressure and also help with migraines.