Love Every Day

Once we've learned how to see the good in our lives and make a protective fence around that good, the next step is to foster and grow our inner-self so that a deep self love will flourish.  Cultivating happiness is like making a beautiful garden, the first step is to see that our garden plot is beautiful, has good soil and lots of potential, the second step is to erect a protective fence around our garden so wild animals don't come and trample it.  The third step is to maintain our garden by planting beautiful plants that will grow and flourish with time making our garden into the most exquisite island of paradise.  When we've successfully done all three steps then we have cultivated a glorious amount of happiness and inner bliss.

Lets continue the journey towards a blissful life by getting to know ourselves, finding out what really makes us happy, what drains us and to learn to LOVE the absolute beauty of being "me"  Once we have learned to recognize our greatness, to act in ways that make us feel good and to value ourselves as the great and wonderful person that we really are, then we will have opened up the gates of inner serenity, which is a very high level of happiness!

Getting to know ourselves is a lifelong process.  We are always changing and growing based on our experiences.  The more we learn about ourselves, the more we will come to truly love ourselves.  Self love is a necessity.   We know what is wrong with us, so we can't hide from ourselves.  It is a balance of accepting who we are despite our faults and loving "me" anyway.  Once we learn to look in the mirror and see "the real me" we will fall madly in love with ourselves.

Thirty eight ~ Ohh Ta!

We were all taught from a very young age to say thank you, but how many people still do it?  What if we thanked everyone when they did something for us?  What if we sat down and figured out all of the people that we didn't say thank you to? 

We are born with nothing and when we die we will not have anything.  Anything we receive along the way is really just a gift.  Even the "gift of life" is a gift.  Happiness comes from appreciating the gifts we have.  There is a simple slogan which if we were to keep it in mind would increase our happiness incredibly....

EXPECT EVERYTHING = APPRECIATE NOTHING

EXPECT NOTHING = APPRECIATE EVERYTHING

Happiness is often dependent on our expectations.  If we change our expectations of life, to not expect anything, then we will have immense appreciation whenever we are given anything.  This feeling of appreciation brings us true happiness.. If we integrated the thought, "everything in life is a gift" we would be exceptionally grateful and happy people.

Happy people anticipate good things happening, but they don't think they have a "right" for these things to happen.  Having an expectation that life owes us something leads to misery.  Having an upbeat outlook that good things will happen, leads to happiness.

Try and thank three people today.  This can be done by speaking / writing / calling or any other way you can think of.

Happy people are grateful people, and grateful people are happy people.  When you enter the mindset of gratitude, automatically your focus is positive.  The attitude of gratitude requires that a person look outside of their own selfish "I want, I need " and instead focus on "I have, I'm fulfilled"

Gratitude integrates the knowledge that others love us, into an emotion of actually feeling loved and cared for.  The more we express our thanks to another, the more WE FEEL good.  Saying thank you is good for our emotional well being.  It's not just a social nicety or a polite thing to do. 

If we can do this exercise everyday for at least 3 months, you will notice how much more you appreciate life and how more loved we feel.  This exercise is a great technique to help remold our entire personality.  It will bring amazing results that we will be so please with.  In the end, we will even begin to thank ourselves for persisting in acquiring this ability!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirty six ~ Trace it back

To learn to cultivate the most amount of seeing the good in our lives, we can learn the skill of tracing it back to its source.  If we enjoy the shoes we are wearing, we can trace it back to feeling grateful to the shoe shop, or our mother for buying them for us, or the cow that died so we have leather, or to the grass that sustained the cow so it could grow, or the farmer who reared the cow...

The more we trace it back, the more pleasure we will be experiencing because it helps us appreciate the things we have in a more detailed way.  Tracing back our pleasures helps cultivate a feeling of "I'm so important and cared for."

Physical pleasures;  Everything that we own, body parts that allow for the ability to see, smell, hear, feel, taste.  Basically anything that brings us pleasure by seeing, touching, hearing, tasting and smelling.

Emotional pleasures; the feeling of being loved, loving others, belonging, meaning, friendship...

Achievement pleasures; winning, being the best at something, overcoming an obstacle, finishing something meaningful, being in control or having power...

Awareness/ Intellectual pleasures;  understanding something deep or profound, having clarity on an issue or having direction in life...

In order to feel these pleasures more, its great to trace them back to how we got to that pleasure, who helped us on the way, what was the original trigger that lead you on this path?

Take one pleasure from each category and see how far back you can trace it.  The further you can trace it back, the bigger your awareness of the pleasures you are experiencing, the deeper your appreciation.

If we want to be happy and really enjoy life, then we have to be aware of all the pleasures we have.  Our levels of appreciation and gratitude will soar the more often we can do this exercise.  Open your eyes to the reality around you.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twenty Eight ~ Helping others

Take a look around you and look at all of the miserable people.  They are everywhere!   If you become the sounding board for their misery, rather than tune it out, take the opportunity to turn it around for them.  We've learned to seek out the positive in our own situations, why not help someone else?  You probably have insight to what is going on just because you can look at it from the outside.  The more we can teach others to see the good in their lives, the more we can see the good in our lives.

Teaching something is a good way of teaching ourselves.  It is a method of reinforcing what we are learning. 

Today, try and help another person see something in their life in a better light!

We need to talk about it, think about it, write about it, teach it, be it.  Happiness is a practiced, learned process, it is not a destination.  Just think about it, the more you teach it, the more you receive it.  A person who learns to see the good in their lives will smile more, be annoyed less, argue less and live a fulfilling life of joy! A happy person by osmosis makes others around them feel good.

Start the trickle effect.  If you teach one person how to see all the good in their lives and they teach one or two and they teach one or two and they teach one or two and...  If most of us were happy there would be less crime, less depression, less addiction..  Can you imagine that?  Can you imagine being responsible for that?  Wow!

Be happy... teach happy...

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twenty six ~ Speak it Out

When we've mastered the ability to see the good in everyone and everything then it is time to speak it out!  A person will naturally talk about things that interest them.  An important step in positive thinking is positive talking.  If we talk about happy things, most people will interact with happy things.  Happy is contagious.  People are drawn to happy, who doesn't want to be happy?  The key is to be genuine.  We have to use our own words, and express things that we notice and emotionally feel are positive.  Let's try to focus all our powers of concentration on the great things in our lives and we will find naturally that we will want to share our life and positivity with others.

Try to have and ALL positive conversation with a friend.  This conversation has nothing negative and no complaining.  Get out a timer and see how long you can do it.

Speech is a gift given to mankind and it is a major factor that differentiates a human from an animal.  Speech turns potential into actuality, a thought into a word, an abstract thing into a concrete reality.  Speaking affects our emotions.  If we speak inspiring words we inspire ourselves and others.

How serious are you about upgrading your life?  Talk about it and keep talking about it until you see it.  We can harness the power of speech and use it for good!  Positive speech will make us feel good and motivate others to share our visions.  This exercise will make you a positive person.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twenty five ~ Judging Good People

What is behind our words?  Sometimes the words that we say aren't what we mean.  It is easy to get caught up in our own troubles and project them to others through our harsh words.  Here is an example:

Daughter:  I was running a bit late for school this morning and my mom was screaming at me, called me a few names and locked herself in her room.  She's always screaming at me, I'm sick of it.  I packed a bag and I'm staying at a friends tonight.  She hates me, and I hate her too.  I will never treat my kids like that!

Mom:  I was so depressed this morning.  My husband left me, I lost my job two months ago and I am struggling to find another one.  My daughter has been so disrespectful.  This morning I got up in a bad mood and I saw her eating her cereal at my computer when she should have been gone to school already.  I told her she needs to become more responsible and she screamed at me, packed a bag and left.  Now she's abandoned me too. 

From the outside, it is so simple to see what is happening here.  But when you're in the moment you only see the surface and you react, and that isn't always the best method.  Once we are able to step outside of the drama and look at the big picture we will be able to see that Mom is under a lot of stress right now and needs the daughters support.  The mom also needs to understand that the daughter feels the stress and has stress of her own and needs Mom to support her, too.

Think of someone that annoyed you today.

• Take a look at things from their point of view.
• See them as basically good with a few mistakes.
• Focus on their virtues.

We already learned to look at situations from the past and re-interpret what happened.  This exercise is similar but lets look at it as it happens.  When we train our mind to lovingly accept other people and all their foibles we'll have joyous interpersonal interactions with all the people in our life.

This exercise is good with people that are married, or living with others.  Often we get annoyed by people that are in close proximity to us.  If we can develop the ability to see things from the other person's point of view, love them despite their faults and focus on their virtues, we will find that our annoyance or anger quickly disappears.  Developing this ability is the beginning of feeling unconditional love for others.


Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twenty Four ~ All Good

Are you a good person?  Is your neighbor a good person?  Is your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend a good person?  How bout your ex-best friend?  What makes you a good person?  What makes you a bad person?

If we ask one of the bombers from the 9/11 disaster, they would probably answer "Sure, I'm a such a good person that I would even give my life to fight for my cause and rid the world of the western decadence."  A murderer might answer "I've done some bad stuff, but I'm really a good person."

It is human nature to want to be a good person.  We will go out of our way to do bad things, if they make us feel good.  How do we know if we really are good?  The 9/11 bomber should have asked himself "Is this the best way to bring goodness into the world?"  His quiet inner voice was screaming "NOOOOOO."

To make sure that we are good and kind we need to run things past our deep inner wisdom - especially when we think that we are justified in hurting another person (for their own good, of course).

1.  Think about a time when you hurt another person's feelings and you though, "It's not my fault, they deserved it."

2.  Ask yourself "How could I do it better next time?"

We all want to be good in our own eyes, the need is so deep and ingrained that we are even willing to deceive ourselves into thinking we are good.  However, this self deception eats away at our inner happiness and distorts our ability to truly see what is good.  Our inner voice knows the truth.. we aren't fooling anyone. 

There are two types of guilt.  Disempowering guilt which is where a person feels that he is bad, hopeless or incorrigible and that his actions were so disgusting and unforgivable that he is completely paralysed and depressed.  A person feeling this guilt will repeat his mistake over and over because he vies himself as so bad that there is no way he could behave better.  This guilt takes away our ability to get back up and keep going. 

The second type of guilt is empowering and we call this "regret."  Regret is the feeling that "I'm such a good person, yet what I did was so stupid.  Why did I act that way, I wish I never lowered myself to do that."  A person who feels regret is more likely not to repeat his mistakes because he sees that he's too good to make such foolish mistakes.

Once we've done something not so goo, it is important not to wallow in the guilt.  Visualize yourself doing better next time.  Open your eyes to your self-delusions and you will see and be the person you want to be.  In order to see the beauty in an old silver goblet, you need to polish it and remove the impurities.  Look in the mirror, wipe off the rationalizations and self delusions, and we will shine like we've never shone before.


 Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twenty ~ Forget It!

Once we've been able to move forward away from a hurtful situation it is important to leave it in the past.  It isn't healthy to go back and re-live the pain over and over again.  The negative energy just sucks the happiness out of you!  We need to understand that our mind will bring these thoughts forward from time to time, but we can choose to let them go.  It isn't healthy to ignore them, or push them away, or they will keep coming back.  If we make an effort not to think about something, it is very likely that we will find ourselves thinking about it.  When the thought comes to mind, tell yourself you already dealt with that and watch the thought pass you right on by.

Go ahead and acknowledge to yourself that it was an awful painful memory, but also remind yourself that you felt it, forgave it and let it go.  In time, the thoughts will just stop popping back up.  Accept that there will be thoughts of your past experiences, just be prepared to let them go just as quickly as they pop up.

When we start learning to re-direct our thoughts to happy ones, we can move towards a positive life.  Re-focus your thoughts to a happy thought and keep moving forward!

1.  Write down a list of happy thoughts, experiences or topics you enjoy thinking about.

2.  From TODAY forward, when a sad or painful memory pops up, gently and lovingly move your thoughts onto something more positive.

This is an exercise that can be mastered enabling us to master our thoughts.  Choosing happy thoughts over negative thoughts is choosing happiness.  It is that simple.  It will take some practice, but it is possible.  Take it slow and don't be too hard on yourself.  Everything takes practice, but this one is really worth it!


Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Nineteen ~ I admit

My mother and I had a very hurtful relationship while I was growing up.  She didn't say very positive things to me and in all honesty, I hated her.  We screamed at each other and that is how I learned to communicate.  Not so good in the real world, but my reality.  She said things to me that I still hear in the back of my mind, things that affect who I am and what I do.  I have forgiven my mom for those things, they are in the past.  That doesn't stop them from surfacing now and then.  When this happens, it is best to feel the feelings and then let them go.

If we hide the feelings and never deal with them, they will surface over and over again and it will be an awful cycle of hurt.  It is important to forgive the one that has hurt us and move forward. 

It's quiet time....

After you have forgiven a person for hurting you, feel the pain, don't tell yourself that it shouldn't hurt anymore, just relax and let yourself feel it.  This pain is natural and may take years to let go of, or maybe it never goes away, just gets a little less painful when it surfaces each time.

This is the last active stage of letting go of emotional pain of the past.  It is cleansing and revitalizing to get to a stage where we know in our heart that we have forgiven all those who have hurt us in the past.  This last exercise helps us from blocking and halting the final healing stage.

Forgiving someone doesn't make the pain go away, but it is a step towards it.  Moving forward from the hurt is the key.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Eighteen ~ Work it out!

Most people in this world are not mean horrible bullies who go out of their way to make another person's life miserable.  Most of the time people who have hurt or offended us don't even realize they have crushed us.  One great way of removing resentment and hatred towards a person is to TELL THEM they hurt us and ask them to apologize.  When we tell a person they have hurt us we need to do it in a way that gives them a chance to explain themselves and apologize. 

When we really try our best to see the situation in a better light and get past our anger, this tool can help.  Assuming we have a positive attitude towards life, we can follow 5 steps to help with the process:

1. Explain that you like them, or care for them.  "You know I love you and I now you wouldn't purposely try to hurt my feelings."
2. Try to come up with a reasonable explanation or rationalization for their behavior.  Judge what they did in a favorable way.  -  "I know you have been under a lot of stress lately."
3. Tell them how it made you feel when they did or said the hurtful moment.  - "I felt so embarrassed and incompetent, when I though you called me stupid in front of my friends."
4. Apologize for any part you played in the situation - "I'm sorry I called you that horrible name."
5. Offer a solution.  "I would appreciate it if you would apologize." or "Let's just forget about the entire incident, but please promise me that you will never try to willfully hurt me like that again." 

Pretending that hurtful words or actions don't bother us is silly.  These kinds of things will eat us up inside and make us sad or resentful and mean.  It is better to face our problems and solve them, than to erroneously claim they don't affect us.  If this happens to be someone that always hurts us and will more than likely continue to do so, it is probably best to remove that person from our lives.

Is there anyone that you are no longer on talking terms with, or who you harbor some resentment towards?  Call or visit that person TODAY and try to re-establish that relationship.  (as long as it isn't an ongoing hurtful person that is never going to change)

 Often times people don't even realize that they've hurt us, they are so caught up in their own world that they don't even see it.  Some people won't even remember the situation that you are referring to.  We can use this tool to help free us from hurts we recently felt, by dealing with them quickly, speaking with the person and not letting a little thing blow up into a major resentment.

When we confront people that have hurt us we are giving a positive message that they are valuable to us and we don't want the relationship to end but we don't want to be treated this way.  When done with love, telling someone they've hurt us can be a great act of compassion and love to our fellow human being.  We need to free ourselves of our past hurts, remove hatred, resentment and anger so that we can be caring, forgiving, loving, self confident and assertive people!



Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Seventeen ~ Jail Break - You've got the power

It's time to break free of old habits, judgements and negative thinking.  We don't have to be prisoners of our past.  It is time to take back the control of our lives and leave those hold's people have on us behind.  All of the harsh words and expectations that have been on you by others, let them go.  All of the harsh words or expectations that you have put on yourself, let those go too!  The tough part is to stop believing what we've embraced to be our truths. 

From today forward, try to say positive things to yourself.  Every time you hear yourself saying something negative or putting limitations on yourself, stop.  Look for the good things, talk yourself up, not down.  Write down your happy thoughts, get rid of the negative ones!

We are not the people we think we are.  We have so many talents and abilities that we don't even know exist.  we are human beings,  the most intelligent, enlightened and gifted creation on earth.  Not only that, but each one of us is a unique individual - there is no other person in the world like you!  We were all born with so much going right for us, with so many treasures and resources hidden inside.  How much of our lives have we spent discovering these talents?

    

This exercise will help us keep updated on who we really are as it changes.  If we can persist in writing down our previously unnoticed talents in a notebook, we will discover powers and talents within ourselves that we never knew existed.  We will have a totally different, updated and more positive self definition. We are powerful, we can do many things that we didn't know we could.  We just need to believe we can do it.  Once we believe we can do it, nothing can stand in the way of us achieving our goals. 






Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Sixteen ~ Acceptance

Once we've been able to realize that we are holding onto the pains from our past, we begin to take control of them and have the ability to leave them in the past.  We need to let go of the hate, anger, guilt or other negative emotions that have been built up around the hurt.  If we refuse to let go, not only are we allowing this person to have damaged us in the past, but we are giving them the power to keep damaging us now an in the future.  We don't want to be puppets and give our strings to another person.  We need to take our strings back and choose to use them to make us dance!  From now on we can choose to accept a painful situation, let go of the victim mentality and start to live.

1.  Verbally accept and let go of the hurtful situation.

Example:  I accept that I was beaten, I refuse to be a victim anymore.  Their behaviour is not a reflection on who I am.  I am good.  I am lovable.  I am worthy of more.  I know that life isn't fair but I am good person.

2.  Look for the good that lies within a situation that you want to reject and take some action to make the most of the moment. 

Example:  Today I was going to sleep in, but the neighbors are building a garage next door and they woke me up at 6am.  I went for a nice morning walk and came back to clean the house early.  Now the day is mine to play with.



Not one person in this world is 100% in control of their lives.  We may make certain decisions that will lead us down a certain path, but where we end up is never certain.  It's like taking a bus.  We might make all the right efforts to get on the right bus, at the right time etc.  expecting to be at a certain destination by a certain time - but things don't always go as planned.  There can be delays.

Refusing to accept the unpleasant things in our lives is a block to moving forward and is a huge obstacle in the way of our happiness.  When we are able to walk through life with a high level of acceptance then we are usually happy.  We can work on increasing our levels of acceptance and affirm to ourselves that the situation we are in is OK.  Every situation we have in life is a chance to bring out something good, or some dormant talent we have.

This exercise releases all tension, anger and built-up frustration.  it will enable us to move on and really enjoy life.  The more we can utilize the exercise the happier we will become.  if we become experts of acceptance, we will discover that so many things in life that used to bother us now don't  We will become more positive, lovable and inspiring people to be around. 




Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fifteen ~ I'm Fine

If we aren't willing to recognize that we are hurt, then we are more likely to keep going in life until we fall down and pass out.  There are signs that a person is in pain, they wince, they bleed, and they shake.  There are signs that a person has been emotionally hurt, they get depressed, enter unhealthy relationships, and engage in self-destructive behavior.  Emotional hurts can only be bandaged if the person is beg enough to admit "Yes, I hurt."

Not letting others close is a sign that we are hurting.  When a person has a broken hand, they won't let anyone hold their hand because it hurts.  If we avoid close friendships or relationships, we need to know its time to recognize that we are hurt and we need to bandage the wound so we can move on.

Seeing that we are hurt and that we are carrying around the hurt is the first step to healing.  Understanding that what we do or say is because we are afraid of being hurt again, we can challenge those ugly feelings inside.

1.  Do you find that you pull away from relationships, suffer from depression, self-destructive behaviour, putting up a front - being scared to be or show the real you?  If the answer is yes, then you are bleeding from an old wound.   It's time to turn the hurtful situation into a springboard for growth and positive change. 
2.  "How can I use the difficulty or hurt I've suffered to help me become a better person?"  "What can I learn or how can I grow from the situation?"

This bleeding is something we can't run and hide from.  Refusing to recognize our wounds is like sitting in a dark room and thinking there is a boogie monster there with us.  We tend to do really weird, uncomfortable or dangerous things to avoid something that hurt in the past but right now it is not real.  The past is gone.  We need to turn on the light, look at what we fear and see that it's no longer there, its just a shadow, there is nothing to worry about.

This exercise will free us from the bonds of destruction we have tied ourselves into.  WE are able to live lives of close relationships, trust, love, forgiveness and happiness.  Once we have that recognition we can take positive steps towards freeing ourselves from that pain.  If we can take every past hurtful experience and turn it into an opportunity to become a better person then we may even get to a point where we can look at that painful time in our lives and say "That was the point in my life where everything changed and now I'm a much better person because of it."

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Fourteen ~ De Ja Vu

Most of us have emotional baggage.  We may not show it to others, but its there.  If we look closely we will see that most of us carry around a heavy load of negativity based on past experiences.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!

We can choose to just put the bag down and walk away.  Sounds good.

One technique with coping with pain in our past is to ignore it and know that it's now gone and nothing can change it so just get on with life.  Each time a sad memory revisits our mind we can just say to ourselves "that was the past, but now I choose to focus on happy thoughts."  another technique of re-visiting the past and turn what was a very sad memory into just an unpleasant one, or even a neutral memory.  The ability to re-visit the past is like opening up the emotional baggage we are carrying and throwing out some of the items in there or trading the items in for lighter ones.

When we re-write our past, we aren't actually changing the facts of what has happened.  We are however changing our interpretation of the facts.  The facts are the same, but the emotion we feel based on this incident has changed.  If you can't seem to change it, try to work out what information we overlooked in order to see the good in the person, or the situation.

When we revisit our past, we try to see how the hurtful situations were really due to the perpetrator making a mistake.  Try to take the heat out of the hurt, by honestly attempting to understand his/her behaviour and seeing the perpetrator as a broken person with problems, but basically a good person.

1.  Thing about someone who has hurt your feelings in the past.  Now try and feel sorry for them.  Feel sad that they have such bad character traits, are bitter, mean or insensitive to others.  See this person for who they are: a person with problems, faults and failings.  We can then feel happy that we don't suffer from such bad character faults.  We can see the hurt they inflicted upon us as a reflection of their failings and not a reflection of who we are or of who we are or of how valuable and lovable we are.
2.  Next try and see the person who hurt yo as a basically good person who doesn't see themselves as bad, wicked or horrible, but sees themselves as a decent human who occasionally makes mistakes.  Try and see this person in the same way that they view themselves.

This is a good technique at looking at your parents.  Try and understand the situation from the parent's point of view, with his/her background and own set of rationalizations for the behavior.

Wouldn't it be great to get rid of all of the unproductive hate, resentment and anger?  Imagine being able to take all of our past hurt feelings and throwing them out the window.   Imagine having the self confidence of knowing whatever anybody has done or said to us was no reflection on our value as a person.  Imagine having the capacity to see the ugly faults of others and not feeling hatred for them but feeling bad or sad for them because they have such emotional problems which lead them to behave in such poor ways.

When a person doesn't treat us well, we have two choices; sad or mad.  We can choose not to internalize or accept the others negativity, instead we bounce it right back by thinking "this negativity is a big problem - but its their problem, not mine!"  Choose to be loving and caring by thinking "Its a shame this person owns so much negativity, it must be hard for them. 

Choosing sad takes away the heavy baggage we are carrying.  When we choose mad it is like we are taking somebody elses heavy problems and carrying them around on our back. 

Revisiting the past makes us willing to admit we could have it all wrong.  We need to develop the humility to realize we make mistakes.  If we think people have to be perfect then we're going to feel pressured to always perform and we may get really down on ourselves when we don't behave so perfectly.  Once we have learned how to forgive our own imperfections we will know how to forgive others also.

People aren't perfect.  That makes things so much easier, because we don't have to pretend that we are.  Drop that emotional baggage, you picked it up by mistake, it doesn't belong to you.  Let it go.



Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirteen ~ Making Good Better

When you look in the mirror do you like what you see?  I'm not talking about your physical traits.  I'm talking about your inner self.  Are you a nice person?  Are you a grumpy person?  Are you giving?  Are you mean?  I think that I am a pretty nice person, most of the time.  There are days that I should probably go back to bed so I don't have to be mean.  The awesome thing is, we can look at our situation and change it.  We don't have to be mean, or rude, or angry all the time.  

If we find ourselves listening to the voice that says it takes too much work to change things then we aren't listening to our inner quiet voice. Our quiet inner voice is telling us that we can be happy and we can work at it!  Everything takes effort and isn't our happiness worth the effort?

There are days when we will feel low.  This is the way we are made, we have ups and we have downs.  We are like waves in the ocean - with high waves and low troughs.  Accepting the fact that we are having a low day, and that we will have them in the future, helps us cope with them when they come because we won't be shocked that another low day has come.  We can even learn how to prepare to handle these low days when they come.  The best way of preparing for a low day is to plan ahead.  Before we are feeling low, we need to ask ourselves, "How should I look after myself when I'm feeling low?" and listen to the quiet answers.

"I know when I feel low I get angry easily and I say nasty things for no good reason.  So one day, when I was in a good mood, I imagined myself in an angry mood and then I floated above the angry mood, and I stopped myself saying something nasty.  I replayed this image in my mind many times.  When I did eventually hit a bad mood day, I found it so much easier to cope with - I floated above my angry mood and didn't say anything I regretted.  I felt like I was just performing a play that I had rehearsed many times over - I was a star!"  (Warren, 1056 KV)

Now it's time to dream a great dream.  It is a dream of who you could really be.  We call this person the 'Ultimate me'.  The ultimate me is a type of person you envisage yourself as if you could dream what the best you would look like.  What you really would like to be, how would you like to interact with life/people etc?  How would you like your friends, family and associates to describe you?  What would you like written on your tombstone, or said at your funeral?

Reflect and ask yourself,  "What would the ultimate me look like?"  Write it down...

Sitting down and writing it out is a great exercise to help us in forming who we want to be.  By looking at things we can see what characteristics we need to build on.  This will be more beneficial when we come back and look at it 3 or 6 months from now.  

 Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twelve ~ You owe it to yourself & others

Positive people make better people.  End of story.  Better friends, better spouses, better parents, better children, better workers, better bosses and better human beings.  If you don't want to be happy for yourself, do it for everyone else!

You see it all the time, you go to the store and the checkout clerk is slow, rude and you're considering leaving the store without your purchase.  Or, there's the clerk that greets you, asks questions and you end up leaving with a smile on your face.  Which one do you prefer?

When we are down, it shows, and we drag everyone else down with us.  Our attitude is contagious.  Don't you want to spread happiness?  Take a look at the people that you surround yourself with.  Are they happy people, or are they contributing to your path to grumpy land?  You can't spend all of your time with grumpy people and remain happy, its impossible.

Make a commitment to yourself that: "From today onwards I will walk on the path of trying to see and speak about the goodness in everyone and everything - past, present and future."  Write it down, post it somewhere to remind yourself... on the fridge or maybe the bathroom mirror.

Writing out a commitment statement is a great way to help us succeed in life.  Take what you've learned today and adapt it to another aspect of your life.  Practice frequently.  Resolve to read your commitments out loud every day for 2-3 months and watch how our outlook changes.  You can do it!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Eleven ~ Conditional Contentment

"If I had a million dollars I would travel around the world."  Have you heard this before?  Have you said it before?  I have, although it wasn't a million, it was millions, probably because I want to travel until I can no longer do so.  What this says is that I feel that traveling around the world would make me happy and that money is the only thing standing in the way.  If we begin to ask the questions, we will see that it is more than just the money in the way and the truth is, traveling would be awesome, but would it make me happy?

I'm trying to put into context what the book says here because it is asking why do you want to travel and the example give was that they wanted to meet new people, which then can go into you can meet interesting people locally, which leads to achieving this goal without the money and without the traveling.  My answers will have a different end result.  I want to travel so I can dive and see the different creatures in different parts of the world.  (and I love warmer water to dive in)  The question could then be there are many places here in the United States that you could dive that have different creatures as well as warmer waters.  True, but those aren't the creatures or the adventures that I'm seeking.  I guess this just shows that not all solutions work with all problems.

If I had a million dollars I would buy all my relatives a new house and car.  So we really want to give them something to make them happy.  You don't have to wait for a million dollars, you could buy them something you can afford and they will love it.

If I had a million dollars I'd quit my job and volunteer for meals on wheels.  Well, how bought you volunteer a few hours on the weekend to fulfill that dream?  Do you see where this is going?  We need to stop making excuses (if I had a million dollars) and do what we want to do.  Most of the time obstacles are illusions.

We all have excuses for why we can't be happy and we all chase illusions thinking they will make us happy.  We don't have to live this way.  We can free ourselves from our conditional contentment and be determined to live a happy life today (even if we are lacking things that we think will make us happy.)

It's time to get quiet again....

1.  "What would I really like to do with my life if I had all the money I needed?"

Analyze your answer and try and work out what you are really searching for that you think will make you happy.  Now:

2.  "What can I do now (given I don't have the money) to live my dream?"

Write down your answers!

Most people have road blocks.  This exercise is aimed at getting past the "I can't" and finding the "I can"  When we can figure out what we really want (despite the lack of money) we will start to discover that we actually do aim for more than a big bank balance.  We have dreams and desires to be a certain type of person or to live a certain lifestyle.  We can chase those dreams without the money.

Open up to other possibilities.  Problems pop up to test your focus.  How committed are you?  The more important question is are we sure that is really what we want?  Figure out your hurdles and get over them. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform