Fifty six ~ Warning Others

If we do something and it goes bad, we often don't do the same thing again.  That's foolish.  Being a joyful, upbeat person is the opposite of being a fool.  We see the good where it exists, and we also learn to judge the situation well enough to know when to avoid the bad.  We need to learn how to lovingly speak up to help others. 

There are times when we need to speak up and speak negatively about others.  If we know that something is bad or that a certain action can lead to something bad, we do need to speak out and warn them.  We need to tell others about people, places, things that can harm them. 

Since it is such a natural habit to say negative things about people, we find that we have to put in most of our effort to speak positively.  If we can think before we speak, we can be mindful of what we say.  Here are some things to think about before we speak...

• S - SURE - Make sure we saw it first hand, and that we really know what we are talking about.  This step helps us not start false rumors.
• P- POSITIVE - be positive that what we are warning the other person about is really harmful, not just our subjective opinion.
• E - EXPRESS - express our concern to the person whom we want to speak badly about.  Maybe they can correct what they did.  Maybe they have a good explanation for their actions.
• A - ACCURATE - Don't embellish or exaggerate what the person did.  Say it as it is.
• KI - KIND INTENT - Only speak up because we care about the well being of the person who we are warning.  If you speak up for revenge, you are only spreading negative information.
• N - NO OTHER WAY - try to find another way to help the person without having to lower yourself to negativity.
• G - GOOD RESULT -  sharing negative information with others should only be done to affect some positive and good result.  If the person warned will take unfair revenge or action on the person, then we shouldn't warn them.

These can be remembered by their letters - S.P.E.A.KI.N.G.  These 7 steps are our way of knowing when we need to judge another person and pass down the verdict to warn others.

1. If you are sharing this bookwork with a friend, then get your friend to test you to see if you can recall what SPEAKING stands for.  Otherwise, test yourself.
2. Before you say something negative about another person today, try and review the SPEAKING steps and see if it is really a worthwhile action.

This exercise can clarify those murky situations when we don't want to lower ourselves to speak negatively about others.  It may be a challenge to remember all seven, but practice helps. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Forty five ~ Hearing the charge

The dynamics of Judging Objectively

The next sections are some ways to learn how to objectively judge other people.  They are guidelines to help us maintain a positive outlook on life and not get dragged down by other's negativity whilst at the same time not living in La-La Land where we are not prepared to protect ourselves against the negative side of humanity.

Until now we have been focusing on seeing the good, but that doesn't mean negative influences don't exist - they do.  We just want our mind to focus on what is good in the world because that will make us happy.  We cannot focus on the bad, we need to focus on the good stuff in our lives.  This section hopes to provide some guidelines to help walk the line between the two.

Learning to judge people / situations has four steps:

• Hearing the charge
• Listening to the Prosecutor
• Hearing the Defense
• Handing down Judgments

When we pass judgment we need to start a court case.  Listen to the charge and then decide if it is serious enough to warrant a court case.  (not a REAL court case, silly)  If someone were to step in front of the judge is the charge worth the judges time and attention?  In this situation, we are the judge.

1.  Does this come under our jurisdiction - do I need to know about it so I can take action?  Has this negative comment or action got anything to do with me or my life?

2.  Is it important enough to dwell on or is the accusation trivial?

3.  Is the person reading out the charges a trustworthy person?

Bottom line  - Do I really NEED to know this information?

Make a note (mental or otherwise) of how many times someone concentrates your attention on something negative, unpleasant or not to their taste, whether it be about another person, place thing or event.  Then at the end of the day add up how many of those comments you really need to hear.

If there is someone in your life that is always filling your head with negativity, it is time to turn that off.  It is time to turn on our filter and only accept necessary information.  It is a constant battle to shut out the negativity, but it is necessary.  People that struggle seeing the good in things love to share the negativity.  We don't have to see the world through them.

If we can filter out the bad and share the good, we may even change those negative people into positive people.  Stop being dragged down and maybe start dragging people up!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Kale - Your new friend, with benefits!

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS FROM YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND?

Fiber: Kale keeps you fuller longer. That will help keep your snacking and over eating at bay, which keeps your weight down (so kale helps you stay fit and trim!). Diets high in fiber-rich leafy greens, like kale, show decreased risks of cancers (such as colon, breast, prostate, ovarian, bladder and lung), as well as heart disease and osteoporosis.

Phytochemicals: Kale lowers the risk of cataract and macular degeneration because it’s an excellent source of phytochemicals (lutein and zeaxanthin). For optimal eye health, the daily suggested dose of lutein and zeaxanthin is 6 to 15 milligrams. One half cup of cooked kale meets the recommended daily dose of these 2 phytochemicals. Along with lutein and zeaxanthin, Kale also has 45 other flavonoids—powerful antioxidants—linked to the protection against cancer.

Vitamin A: An effective antioxidant, it boosts immunity and maintains healthy bones and teeth.

Vitamin K: Necessary to produce osteocalcin, a protein that strengthens the composition of our bones. Studies show that women with diets low in Vitamin K have significantly lower bone density. Vitamin K also prevents calcium build-up in our tissue that can lead to cardiovascular disease and stroke and is a key nutrient that regulates inflammation in the body. 

Vitamin E: Acts as an antioxidant in brain cells, protecting them from free radicals. This will help keep your mind sharp!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?

Kale Preparation:

Kale is not fussy. It doesn’t require much prep at all so it’s a really great food friend to have, especially if you’re a busy person on the go (and let’s face it, who isn’t!?). As with all veggies (and especially dark green leafy ones), make sure you wash each leaf in cold water thoroughly.  While they are dripping dry, cut out the big stem in the middle. Or what I do is grab hold of the bottom stem and pull, tearing that stalk out! Viola! Your kale is ready to go! Here are some things to do with it, once you’ve got it in your hands.

Kale Salad: If you’re a raw food purist or just in a warm climate and want something fresh, chop kale finely (amount is up to you!) .  I recommend this lemon/tahini dressing: olive oil,  a spoonful of tahini paste and fresh lemon juice; pour over the finely chopped green leaves and let sit for 15 to 20 minutes. The dressing will ‘marinade’ the leaves, softening them and soaking up the sunny goodness. Top with whatever veggies you like! Some of my favorites are yellow peppers, shaved fennel, avocado, pomegranate seeds and sliced cucumbers!  

Sautéing/Braising: My favorite way to make kale is to sauté it with garlic and coconut oil (great as a side dish or as part of a main dish!). Use 2-3 cloves of garlic and about 1 tbsp coconut oil to one big bunch of kale.  Gently heat the garlic then add the washed and chopped kale to your frying pan.  You want to cook it over a medium-low heat until the leaves soften and wilt. How long you sauté is a personal preference, but I like my kale to keep some of its bright vibrant green color and health benefits so I don’t cook it for more than five minutes (remember, even if you turn off the heat, food keeps cooking!). If you want to go without oil, try braising: simmer in three-quarters of a cup of veggie broth for 20 minutes to soften up the leaves , drain and serve.

Steaming: Cover with a little water and cook until soft. Super healthy.

Kale Chips: I made this for a holiday party. I put out an entire bowl, made someone a cocktail, turned around and the bowl was empty! It is a great alternative for grownups, in place of potato chips. Kids love it too! And it’s super easy. Make sure your kale pieces are thoroughly dried (otherwise you’ll wind up with steamed kale instead!). Toss with olive oil, put in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake in the oven at 350 degrees for about 10 to 15 minutes. Flip the leaves halfway through. (And check them often; you don’t want the leaves to turn brown because they will become bitter.) When the leaves are crispy, sprinkle with sea salt and invite me over. J  

SMOOTHIES SMOOTHIES SMOOTHIES SMOOTHIES SMOOTHIES

Also: I add chopped kale to soups, stews, grains (like millet and quinoa), mashed potatoes and pasta (about a cup but the amount is up to you!). Add it to an omelet or poached eggs.  Or add it to your smoothie! 

Some tips:

• Avoid washing kale until just before use, since it will hasten spoilage.
• Kale will shrink during cooking, like spinach does but not as drastically.
• As with any fruit or vegetable, it’s best to buy kale in season. A light frost sweetens kale, so here in NYC, fall or winter is the perfect time to enjoy it.
• Fresh kale should have a bright green color.  Avoid kale with yellow or brown leaves—that means it’s getting old.

Varieties of kale:

• Green kale – the most common variety in the grocery store, has a firm texture and curly leaves.
• Red kale – similar in taste and texture to green kale, but adds a splash of red or purple to your plate. 
• Dinosaur kale (also called Tuscan or Lacinato) –  the leaves are flatter and more tender than the other types.
• Ornamental kale – tougher than other kinds, and available in green, purple, pink and white.  Often sold as decoration for a garden or window box, it’s still edible and makes a great garnish.

This information provided by : MIND BODY GREEN