Part 1 Recap ~ Days One through Thirteen

We are about to begin Part 2 of the 7 Ancient Keys to Happiness and I wanted to spend today recapping what we've already learned so we don't get ahead of ourselves.  I think that it is important to make sure we are ready to continue.  These questions (and answers) should be written down in a journal or a notebook so that you can refer back to them whenever you need to...

1. Getting in touch ~ Take some quiet time to see if you can hear that quiet voice.
2. Learning to listen ~ Find the quiet again: "What can I do today to increase the levels of joy that I feel in my life?"
3. Keeping in touch ~ Listen to the quiet voice and try to do something that it is telling you to do: "Today I will try to take one step towards..."
4. Two are better than one ~ find your quiet and ask: "Who would make a good lifelong friend?"  See if they would like to join you on this journey towards inner bliss.
5. Starting the cruise ~ "What does happiness mean to you?"  Write down 3 ways your life would be different if you lived in a state of happiness.
6. First stop ~ See the good around you:  Sit down and write a list of all the good things that you have; physical, people, emotional.  See if you can add 5 things to each category each day of the week.
7. When good goes stale ~ Pick one of the following and try to become a connoisseur of the thing you have chosen for a day:  an experience, a possession, a relationship.
8. It is all up to us ~ reflect and ask yourself "Is there anyone in my life that I'm really waiting for to make me happy?"  The next time we hear ourselves blaming someone, resolve to stop, turn things around and ask "How can I see the good or positive in this situation?"
9. Living in the real world ~ Think about a problem you have at the moment.  What goodness lies within this problem?  See the problem as the background, what is the good?
10. The energizer ~ Stop and pause.  It's time to pat ourselves on the back and motivate ourselves by using the kind and loving side of our personalities.  Find something to pat yourself on the back for everyday.
11. Conditional Contentment ~ Get quiet and ask "What would I really like to do with my life if I had all the money I needed?"  Analyze your answer and see if you can change it a little to achieve it now.  "What can I do now (given I don't have the money) to live my dream?"
12. You owe it to yourself & others ~ Commit to yourself today: "From today onwards I will walk on the path of trying to see and speak about the goodness in everyone and everything ~ past, present and future." 
13. Making Good Better ~ Dream a great dream.  It is a dream of who you could really be... the ultimate me.  What would I look like?  What do I want to be?  How would I like my friends, family and coworkers to describe me?  What would I like written on my tombstone or said at my funeral?  

Key Number One ~ See The Good ~  Seeing the good in everything is the skeleton key that opens all doors.  Every block we have in our lives is due to not being able to see the good that lies within the situation.  once we learn the art of extracting the good from every experience, situation, person or interaction we will find we are able to sail smoothly and happily through life - wherever life happens to lead us. 






Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Thirteen ~ Making Good Better

When you look in the mirror do you like what you see?  I'm not talking about your physical traits.  I'm talking about your inner self.  Are you a nice person?  Are you a grumpy person?  Are you giving?  Are you mean?  I think that I am a pretty nice person, most of the time.  There are days that I should probably go back to bed so I don't have to be mean.  The awesome thing is, we can look at our situation and change it.  We don't have to be mean, or rude, or angry all the time.  

If we find ourselves listening to the voice that says it takes too much work to change things then we aren't listening to our inner quiet voice. Our quiet inner voice is telling us that we can be happy and we can work at it!  Everything takes effort and isn't our happiness worth the effort?

There are days when we will feel low.  This is the way we are made, we have ups and we have downs.  We are like waves in the ocean - with high waves and low troughs.  Accepting the fact that we are having a low day, and that we will have them in the future, helps us cope with them when they come because we won't be shocked that another low day has come.  We can even learn how to prepare to handle these low days when they come.  The best way of preparing for a low day is to plan ahead.  Before we are feeling low, we need to ask ourselves, "How should I look after myself when I'm feeling low?" and listen to the quiet answers.

"I know when I feel low I get angry easily and I say nasty things for no good reason.  So one day, when I was in a good mood, I imagined myself in an angry mood and then I floated above the angry mood, and I stopped myself saying something nasty.  I replayed this image in my mind many times.  When I did eventually hit a bad mood day, I found it so much easier to cope with - I floated above my angry mood and didn't say anything I regretted.  I felt like I was just performing a play that I had rehearsed many times over - I was a star!"  (Warren, 1056 KV)

Now it's time to dream a great dream.  It is a dream of who you could really be.  We call this person the 'Ultimate me'.  The ultimate me is a type of person you envisage yourself as if you could dream what the best you would look like.  What you really would like to be, how would you like to interact with life/people etc?  How would you like your friends, family and associates to describe you?  What would you like written on your tombstone, or said at your funeral?

Reflect and ask yourself,  "What would the ultimate me look like?"  Write it down...

Sitting down and writing it out is a great exercise to help us in forming who we want to be.  By looking at things we can see what characteristics we need to build on.  This will be more beneficial when we come back and look at it 3 or 6 months from now.  

 Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Twelve ~ You owe it to yourself & others

Positive people make better people.  End of story.  Better friends, better spouses, better parents, better children, better workers, better bosses and better human beings.  If you don't want to be happy for yourself, do it for everyone else!

You see it all the time, you go to the store and the checkout clerk is slow, rude and you're considering leaving the store without your purchase.  Or, there's the clerk that greets you, asks questions and you end up leaving with a smile on your face.  Which one do you prefer?

When we are down, it shows, and we drag everyone else down with us.  Our attitude is contagious.  Don't you want to spread happiness?  Take a look at the people that you surround yourself with.  Are they happy people, or are they contributing to your path to grumpy land?  You can't spend all of your time with grumpy people and remain happy, its impossible.

Make a commitment to yourself that: "From today onwards I will walk on the path of trying to see and speak about the goodness in everyone and everything - past, present and future."  Write it down, post it somewhere to remind yourself... on the fridge or maybe the bathroom mirror.

Writing out a commitment statement is a great way to help us succeed in life.  Take what you've learned today and adapt it to another aspect of your life.  Practice frequently.  Resolve to read your commitments out loud every day for 2-3 months and watch how our outlook changes.  You can do it!

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Eleven ~ Conditional Contentment

"If I had a million dollars I would travel around the world."  Have you heard this before?  Have you said it before?  I have, although it wasn't a million, it was millions, probably because I want to travel until I can no longer do so.  What this says is that I feel that traveling around the world would make me happy and that money is the only thing standing in the way.  If we begin to ask the questions, we will see that it is more than just the money in the way and the truth is, traveling would be awesome, but would it make me happy?

I'm trying to put into context what the book says here because it is asking why do you want to travel and the example give was that they wanted to meet new people, which then can go into you can meet interesting people locally, which leads to achieving this goal without the money and without the traveling.  My answers will have a different end result.  I want to travel so I can dive and see the different creatures in different parts of the world.  (and I love warmer water to dive in)  The question could then be there are many places here in the United States that you could dive that have different creatures as well as warmer waters.  True, but those aren't the creatures or the adventures that I'm seeking.  I guess this just shows that not all solutions work with all problems.

If I had a million dollars I would buy all my relatives a new house and car.  So we really want to give them something to make them happy.  You don't have to wait for a million dollars, you could buy them something you can afford and they will love it.

If I had a million dollars I'd quit my job and volunteer for meals on wheels.  Well, how bought you volunteer a few hours on the weekend to fulfill that dream?  Do you see where this is going?  We need to stop making excuses (if I had a million dollars) and do what we want to do.  Most of the time obstacles are illusions.

We all have excuses for why we can't be happy and we all chase illusions thinking they will make us happy.  We don't have to live this way.  We can free ourselves from our conditional contentment and be determined to live a happy life today (even if we are lacking things that we think will make us happy.)

It's time to get quiet again....

1.  "What would I really like to do with my life if I had all the money I needed?"

Analyze your answer and try and work out what you are really searching for that you think will make you happy.  Now:

2.  "What can I do now (given I don't have the money) to live my dream?"

Write down your answers!

Most people have road blocks.  This exercise is aimed at getting past the "I can't" and finding the "I can"  When we can figure out what we really want (despite the lack of money) we will start to discover that we actually do aim for more than a big bank balance.  We have dreams and desires to be a certain type of person or to live a certain lifestyle.  We can chase those dreams without the money.

Open up to other possibilities.  Problems pop up to test your focus.  How committed are you?  The more important question is are we sure that is really what we want?  Figure out your hurdles and get over them. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Ten ~ The Energizer

The words that we say to our selves are so incredibly powerful.  If you fill your head with negative self talk, you will fail.  Maybe that's a little harsh.  You will probably fail.  We are all full of hopes and dreams with the ability to achieve them.  If you aren't your own biggest fan, who is?  You have to believe that you can do it, and then talk yourself all the way through it.  Cheer yourself on.  Fill your head with the good thoughts "I can do this!"

If I had a friend that talked to me the way that I talk to myself, they wouldn't be my friend anymore.  I am really abusive in my self-talk.  We need to learn to love ourselves.  Why can I support and talk others through their troubles when I am so unwilling to do so with myself?  Shouldn't I be the most important?  Yes, I should. 

Pause for a moment.  It's time to treat ourselves a little better.  Here's an idea... "Well done.  You've spent ten days towards a life of happiness.  You've been persistent and dedicated and you're learning."  "Good job!"

Take a look at all of the other things that have been happening in your day to day lives.  What else are you deserving of praise for?  Go to the Inner Bliss group and share with the group.  What is the one thing you are deserving of praise for today?

One of the biggest challenges to happiness is when we think negative thoughts about ourselves, or call ourselves mean names.  Self criticism can lead to depression.  We need to learn to practice good self talk until it becomes a habit and all we do is tell ourselves how wonderful we are!  Using a holistic happiness approach to motivating ourselves will bring us to levels of happiness that are higher than we've ever felt.  We will also notice that we will become motivated and have the stamina to keep going with and achieving our goals. 

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Nine ~ Living in the Real world

We are all different people and see things in different ways.  One person make look at your situation and see something completely different than what you see.  Does that make them wrong?  Does that make you wrong?  It all depends on our focus.  Do we see the good in everything or do we focus on the bad?   When we see the bad we spend all of our time complaining about how awful things are.  We like to tell others about how miserable our life is so we will feel better knowing that they feel sorry for us.  I have actually found myself trying to find someone in a worse situation than me just so I could listen to them complain awhile and feel better about my own miserable situation.

It's time to look at our perception of things and tweak it just a little (or maybe a lot) so that we are seeing the good in everything, not the bad. 

Focus on something in your life right now that is causing you grief.  Now try to find the goodness that lies in the problem.  Example:  My child has been in the hospital for 3 days.  The goodness I see in this is I've noticed so much kindness has been extended to me by so many people, I appreciate my child so much more and we have grown closer as a result of this incident.

  

There is a shift somewhere that we have to find where we realize that happiness is a reality, not just a place to escape to now and then.  Happiness is something that we can achieve even in the middle of our burdens.  This exercise helps us to see life in a different light.  You don't have to look at the negative.  Focus on the good, find the good, it is there in everything.

 Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Eight ~ It is all up to us

No-one, no matter how well meaning they are, has the power to make us happy.  Just like nobody can use our eyes and see for us, nobody can use our minds and create happiness within us.  It isn't what others are doing for us that makes us feel happy, it is how we interpret what they are doing.  We choose how we interpret each situation.  People can say or do tings that make it easier for us to think happy uplifting thoughts, but essentially they are not the ones that make us happy.

We have so many people in our lives that care for us.  However, they don't have the power or ability to make us happy.  They may try hard to make us happy, but it doesn't matter what others do or say to us, in the long run we are the only ones that can create that state of bliss in our minds.

 

1.  Ask yourself "Is there anyone in my life that I'm really waiting for to make me happy?  eg I thought I would be happy if I wasn't single, but now I'm married I still don't feel happy.  I thought I would be happy if I quit my job, but now I'm self-employed, I'm still not happy.  I thought I'd be happy if my children behaved themselves, but now they've grown up and left home, I'm still not happy. 

2.  The next time we hear ourselves blaming someone (by thinking or sayig "its your fault"), resolve to stop, turn things around and ask "How can I see the good or positive side of this situation?"

 

When we realize that we are the only ones responsible to make ourselves happy, then we can give up waiting around for happiness.  Happiness is at our doorstep.  It's there within our reach, its a power we possess.  Nobody can give it to us and nobody can ever take it away from us once we have learned how to do it.

Let's take control of our lives, free ourselves from the power others have over us and throw away any excuses that stand in our way of being happy.  our ticket to self empowerment is just one exercise away.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Seven ~ When Good Goes Stale

We something that we must have and do whatever we have to do to get it.  Now we have it, its ours!  It's so cool and awesome and I am so happy now that I have it.  But how long does that last?  We love it until we lose interest and then there it is.  And eventually we find something else.  We get used to things, that billboard that never changes that you pass on your way to work.  Do you actually hear the birds chirping outside?  Do you see the clouds rolling by?  We are desensitized to the world around us, and the only way to re-sensitize ourselves, is to make a conscious effort to remain focused and to tune into the good in our lives.

How much effort goes into learning how to appreciate wine?  People take wine appreciation courses, just to learn how to appreciate a simple beverage.  Just like people who learn how to appreciate wine become wine connoisseurs, we can become LIFE connoisseurs.  We can learn to appreciate every experience, every possession, every relationship, just by making a conscious effort to focus on appreciating what we have whilst we are participating in enjoying it.

Pick one of the following:

1.  An experience (eating an apple)
2.  A possession (your bed)
3.  A relationship (your best friend)

Now try and become a connoisseur of the thing you have chosen for the day.

Let's say you chose your bed.... notice how the blankets feel on your body, how the pillow holds your head, how your sheets feel and smell.

Wouldn't it be great if we could look at life through the eyes of an artist?  - see all the details, textures, shades, lighting?   Let's look at a tree through the eyes of an artist.  How would you draw it?  If we can master the technique of being a connoisseur of life then we will be able to experience heightened levels of pleasure in our relationships, career and life.  Simultaneously we will succeed in developing our creativity, "out-of-the-box" thinking ability, and optimism.  Go on...

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Six ~ First Stop (and Key #1)

Day five was about starting the cruise and the questions were designed to make you think.

1.  What does happiness mean to you?
2.  Write down 3 ways your life would be different if you lived in a state of happiness.

These questions were supposed to make you look at what you think would make you happy.  If you were able to achieve happiness, would you be truly happy?  "When trying to define what happiness means to us, we would be wise to project into the future and think deeply.  If we can envisage ourselves living our lives according to our definition and having a feeling of complete satisfaction and bliss ~ then our definition is probably a good one.  Before we shoot for the stars, its good to know which star we are trying to reach."  (Warren, 2010, p532  KV)


If we can think of three tangible ways that improving our levels of happiness will enhance our lives, we will automatically start to focus on being happy and our lives will become better - without doing anything.  It's an amazingly powerful tool.  Just using our imagination to dream of a better life, sets the wheels in motion for us to have a better life.

When we're done with this journey, it will be awesome to come back to this day and see how much our lives have changed.  We may be pleasantly surprised to discover that our lives have improved dramatically especially in the three ways we have identified in this exercise.

Let's move on now...

Key #1 ~ See the Good

Its time for the first of the 7 Ancient Keys to Happiness!!  Since happiness is a choice, we can choose to live happy lives by learning to see what's so good about life.  We can train ourselves to see the cup as half full, not half empty and to see the silver lining behind every cloud.  Accustoming ourselves to stop, notice, appreciate and even smell the roses, makes life more pleasant.  This is the first and most important of the Ancient Keys to Happiness.  Seeing the good in everything is the skeleton key that opens all doors.  Every block we have in our lives is due to not being able to see the good that lies within the situation.  once we learn the art of extracting the good from every experience, situation, person or interaction we will find we are able to sail smoothly and happily through life - wherever life happens to lead us.

The first stop in the journey of life towards bliss and happiness is to know how to recognize the goodness and sweetness that already exists in our lives.  We have some situations that don't look "pretty" but even then we can still learn to enjoy them.  These situations are more like oysters than roses.  Many things in life are like oysters, they may look hard and cold on the outside, disgusting and smelly on the inside, but in fact there are pearls of magnificent beauty contained wihtin them.  When we train ourselves to search for the pearls and cast aside the oyster, in every part of our lives we will be on the way to true happiness.

...Monday morning, alarm goes off,  immediately you realize how much you hate Mondays, why do I have to go to that job?  Why can't I do something else?  

OYSTERS... where is the pearl?

What would life be like if I couldn't get out of bed?  What if I didn't have an awful job to go to?  What if I was fired?    As you realize all of these things, you slowly get dressed....  What if I didn't have shoes to put on?  What if I didn't have feet?   All of our thoughts can be shifted at any time, we just need to choose to do so.  

It's not what we've got, but how much we focus on enjoying what we have that will bring happiness.  It is completely irrelevant whether other people also have what we have as to whether we are enjoying ourselves or not.   The more intensely we can focus on the good things that we are currently enjoying, the happier we become.  

Let's tune into seeing the beautiful roses that are in our lives.  Sit down for 15 minutes and write down a list of all the good things you have.  These may fit into the following categories:

1.  Physical - head, nose, mouth, clothes, shoes, car

2.  People - friends, family, acquaintances

3.  Emotional - an appreciation of music, ability to feel emotions

See if you can add 5 new ones to each of the categories each day for the next week!

This exercise helps build your positive thinking muscle.  Writing, prioritizing and appreciating is training ourselves to notice the good things.  Awareness.  The things we concentrate on happen more often.  The more we notice and appreciate how many material blessings we have the more they will increase.  if we notice and appreciate those that we love then our love for them will increase.  If we notice and appreciate the good in ourselves then that part will naturally begin to shine forth more.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Five ~ Starting the Cruise

Before we start on the journey towards the City of Happiness together we need to make sure we're all looking at the same map, and all heading in the same direction.

- "I think happiness is a state of complete euphoria, like living on cloud 9 constantly."

- "I think happiness is a quiet soft feeling of contentment."

- "I think happiness is the thrill of wild excitement running through your veins constantly."

If we are aiming for a state called "Happiness" we need to know what it is we think we are trying to achieve. In order to reach this goal of inner-bliss we are going to be learning lots of new, exciting and interesting information and tools. . (Warren, 2010, p496-512  KV)

By now, I am hoping that you've found (or went out and purchased) a notebook or notepad to jot down the exercises that we have been doing.  At the end of each lesson, there is a "your turn" section.  If you don't have something dedicated to this portion, today is the day to make that happen.  We have 85 more days to go and its time to get serious.  Keeping everything in one spot makes it easy to refer back to and you will always know where you are.

Write down what you want.   What does happiness mean to YOU?  Not your spouse/significant other, not your kids, not your friend, YOU.

Will these desires actually make  you happy once you've reached them?  Maybe you need to adjust your desires.  Maybe you're heading down the wrong path.    It will be interesting to see how our views change once we begin our journey.  If your path changes as we go, its ok.  The goal is to listen to that quiet voice.  What is that voice telling you?  

1.  What does Happiness mean to you?

2.  Write down 3 ways your life would be different if you lived in a state of happiness?

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Four ~ Two are Better Than One

 "Now I'm going to take you on a journey to true bliss.  On the journey, reflect and ask yourself   "Is this true?" and if it is, then ask yourself, "What should be done with this information?" and wait to hear a quiet answer." (Warren, 2010, p439  KV)

 The first step in navigating towards a more blissful existence is to learn to make good friends... and keep them.  Who is a good friend?  Ask your quiet voice.

A good friend will guide us, support us, encourage us, inspire us and love us!

A true friend sticks by you no matter what.  A friend isn't a friend because of the things we give them.  A good friend is a giver not a taker.  Friends make everything better, deeper, more beautiful.  This book is best when shared with a friend.  Welcome, friend!

Maybe you're coming to realize that you have lots of friends, but they are only around when they need something from you.  Maybe they aren't really friends afterall.  It's time to get some good friends, the ones that will love you.

Do you have a friend that you want to share this walk with?  Invite them!  The more the merrier. 

1.  Get quiet and ask yourself "Who would make a good lifelong friend?"

2.  See if they'd like to join you for this adventure towards inner bliss.

Go on..

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Three ~ Keeping in Touch

"I found it,"  Kate said, "I listened for a few days, and finally I heard it.  I have a problem though - I don't want to do what it said.  It tells me to be responsible and I want to be carefree.  It tells me to tell the truth, when I want to tell a little white lie - it's a pest!"

Have you found that quiet voice deep inside?  Is it a pest?  Is it stealing your fun?  It is part of the process.  Sometimes the things it tells us to do are inconvenient.  The more time you spend listening to this inner voice, the sooner you will see that it isn't there to take away our fun.  That voice is there to point us in the right direction, to help us achieve things that will bring us true happiness.  When we fail at something, this is not the voice that is telling you "I told you it was too hard for you."  Our inner voice says "Wow!  You did great, you should try again."

Warren states "If our quiet voice tells us we should set up an institution for disable people, we don't have to feel bad if we don't go out and do it... If the quiet voice is persistent with grand desires - then we should follow the path that will lead us there.  However, we may find that we will reach a point of satisfaction and not desire to follow through with our original grandiose plans (e.g. of setting up an institute for disable people)  If we are doing small acts that are similar to our original plan e.g. helping a disabled person once a week, we may notice that we no longer desire to set up that institute.  Why?  Because the quiet voice's grand plans are sometimes wil fantasies based on an unfulfilled need we have deep inside... Once we start feeding our deep needs, we may find that our original grand plans become sidelined.  But, we should never sell ourselves short, if our quiet voice really craves for us to set up an institution - then eventually, step by step - we'll get there.  We just need to keep asking the quiet voice what to do next, keep up the dialogue and keep listening."

Today I will try to take one step towards:    (write it down)

If we have worked hard and taught ourselves how to access our dep wisdom then we are completely foolish to ignore its good advice.   Success is not achieved over night.  Success also isn't always measured by achieving our original dream or goal - but success IS being able to make and appreciate the small steps needed in order to reach our goal.  Success is when we get up from a fall and try again.  Success is when we beat that part of ourselves that wants to give up and resign itself to mediocrity.  Success is when we keep dreaming, hoping and planning for a better future (whilst simultaneously appreciating all that we have right now.) (Warren, 2010, p422  KV)

Get up, dust off those dreams, reflect deeply on what you really want out of life and who you really want to be and step forward TODAY.

Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform