19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
This is a tough one. We all have that one person that we can't stand. Heck, maybe there are two or three of them. They make it easy to hate them. That doesn't mean that we should. Hate doesn't even feel good. If it doesn't feel good, then we probably shouldn't be doing it! Here are a few pointers to help with the hate!
For now, the best way to overcome hateful thinking is through the use of inclusion and empathy. Evolution has led us to hate people who are not members of our tribes, or those who we perceive as different. To cut down on hateful thinking, focus on the things you have in common with others, rather than the ways in which you're different. Try to see yourself in the people you dislike or distrust, and recognize that any aggression you perceive on the part of others is likely based on their own evolutionary fears. This can help you to empathize rather than to hate.
Of course, some hateful thinking is unavoidable. If you've been wronged in some way, forgiveness can be the key to inner peace. If hateful thoughts reappear from time to time, acknowledge them, and then let them go. Just as you don't have to accept hate and negativity from others, you can choose to not hold on to these thoughts in your own mind.
~Bambi Turner
This is a tough one. We all have that one person that we can't stand. Heck, maybe there are two or three of them. They make it easy to hate them. That doesn't mean that we should. Hate doesn't even feel good. If it doesn't feel good, then we probably shouldn't be doing it! Here are a few pointers to help with the hate!
- Let It All Out. Whether it is screaming into a pillow, crying silently, or sobbing it all out to your deity of choice, vent, vent, and vent some more.
- Calm Yourself. Anger does NOT help you make rational decisions!!!
- Think It Through. What are this person's good qualities? Bad qualities?
- Decide. Is it really helping to hate this person? Does he/she deserve your hate? (Think rationally here!)
- Imagine. Think of everything about this person that feels like magic. Think of all the smiles, the laughs, the times where you never thought that this person would be in hate with you, or you with him/her.
- Repeat As Necessary. Sometimes you need to vent some more before you can really remember everything good about this person. That is perfectly fine.
For now, the best way to overcome hateful thinking is through the use of inclusion and empathy. Evolution has led us to hate people who are not members of our tribes, or those who we perceive as different. To cut down on hateful thinking, focus on the things you have in common with others, rather than the ways in which you're different. Try to see yourself in the people you dislike or distrust, and recognize that any aggression you perceive on the part of others is likely based on their own evolutionary fears. This can help you to empathize rather than to hate.
Of course, some hateful thinking is unavoidable. If you've been wronged in some way, forgiveness can be the key to inner peace. If hateful thoughts reappear from time to time, acknowledge them, and then let them go. Just as you don't have to accept hate and negativity from others, you can choose to not hold on to these thoughts in your own mind.
~Bambi Turner
Such great advice and what I try to explain to my son always.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, its so easy to get caught up in negative energy! Thanks for checking out my blog!
DeleteGreat message; hate takes up way too much energy, all negative. Let it go!
ReplyDeleteI have caught myself all wrapped up in the negative and have to force myself to focus on the positive just to get back on track. Thanks for stopping by!
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