You can't find out the truth about what he said, she said, he said, unless you go to the source. Go to the beginning of the mess and ask questions. Did you say this? Did you say that? Why? What made you say that? Do you really believe that? There is no sense listening to others, step up and ask the beginning of the mess. In the long run you will become much more respected for stepping up. And future bad talkers will think twice about saying something about you if you have a reputation of asking them what the heck they were thinking.
Give them a chance to explain themselves. Don't assume that they are guilty, ask. If they are guilty, give them a chance to explain themselves, see their side of the story. Is there actually some truth to what they are saying? You may find that they aren't the source, and they were talking about something someone else started. Clear it up with this person, and keep moving towards the source.
- Think of a person who was accused of something that you believed. Example - a friend said "Kate said she hates you and never wants to see you again."
- Try and approach the person in an accepting loving way, and ask with genuine interest and belief in their goodness, why they did/said that (or if they even did)
You may find the person will answer surprisingly different than you thought. Take the time to try this exercise out every chance you get. It will restore your faith in the goodness of mankind. In order to see the good you have to be strong enough to stare seeming evil in the face and say "So what's your side of the story?"
Either way, you need to know the truth, and then go from there!
Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
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