Twenty five ~ Judging Good People

What is behind our words?  Sometimes the words that we say aren't what we mean.  It is easy to get caught up in our own troubles and project them to others through our harsh words.  Here is an example:

Daughter:  I was running a bit late for school this morning and my mom was screaming at me, called me a few names and locked herself in her room.  She's always screaming at me, I'm sick of it.  I packed a bag and I'm staying at a friends tonight.  She hates me, and I hate her too.  I will never treat my kids like that!

Mom:  I was so depressed this morning.  My husband left me, I lost my job two months ago and I am struggling to find another one.  My daughter has been so disrespectful.  This morning I got up in a bad mood and I saw her eating her cereal at my computer when she should have been gone to school already.  I told her she needs to become more responsible and she screamed at me, packed a bag and left.  Now she's abandoned me too. 

From the outside, it is so simple to see what is happening here.  But when you're in the moment you only see the surface and you react, and that isn't always the best method.  Once we are able to step outside of the drama and look at the big picture we will be able to see that Mom is under a lot of stress right now and needs the daughters support.  The mom also needs to understand that the daughter feels the stress and has stress of her own and needs Mom to support her, too.

Think of someone that annoyed you today.

• Take a look at things from their point of view.
• See them as basically good with a few mistakes.
• Focus on their virtues.

We already learned to look at situations from the past and re-interpret what happened.  This exercise is similar but lets look at it as it happens.  When we train our mind to lovingly accept other people and all their foibles we'll have joyous interpersonal interactions with all the people in our life.

This exercise is good with people that are married, or living with others.  Often we get annoyed by people that are in close proximity to us.  If we can develop the ability to see things from the other person's point of view, love them despite their faults and focus on their virtues, we will find that our annoyance or anger quickly disappears.  Developing this ability is the beginning of feeling unconditional love for others.


Warren, S. 2010, 7 Ancient Keys To Happiness, CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform